#when another creature's health is on the line

[mirmidones]

just understood a little of what moms experience when the teacher tells them their kid is a pleasure to have in class bc the vet just told me lucy was the best behaved cat they had all morning and a pleasure to deal with

[mossterious]

Something really poignant about Lisa Frankenstein, to be at least, is the fact that when the creature attacks Janet, it’s not when she’s being rude to her. It’s not when she’s just saying rude things, or beoittling Lisa, or anything. It’s when Janet says that she’s going to admit Lisa.

Because the creature is from the 1830s. And even if he knows about modern culture and inventions, which he sort of seems to?, he’s still FROM the 1830s. And when Janet says the word admitted, he hears the word committed. When Janet says Serenity Manor, he knows that that means an asylum. And he knows what asylums are. They are dangerous places. They are places where you’re stripped of all autonomy. They are places where you send people away to become someone else’s problem, and they normally don’t come back. And so he attacks. He protects Lisa.

And I think that draws a really important comparison between what asylums were, and what mental care is now. Because in a lot of ways, it isn’t much better. There’s still a lot of abuse in the system. There’s still a complete lack of autonomy. There’s still so much ableism and bias within the system. And people are still sent there to get them out of other peoples ways, rather than strictly to help them. And, sure, this movie is set in the 80s, so it’s not exactly modern. I mean, the movie points out that times are different. But with Janet, it almost seems intent on pointing out of similar everything is. Sending Lisa to a psych ward. The diet culture. The “intuitive person” thing. That one line about narcissists needing to be vanquished. And all these things are still a pretty big issue now.

There’s just a lot of comparison. ESPECIALLY a lot of comparison when it comes to disability and madness in these three distinct time periods. And like, it’s obvious that mental health was used as a weapon against people, and especially WOMEN, in the 1830s. But Lisa Frankenstein highlights that in the 80s, it was still a weapon! And that psych ward programs still poses a threat. Theres a comparison between how Janet and Lisa’s dad erase Lisa’s grief and say that she’s “acting out” compared to female hysteria of the creature’s time. There’s also the creature’s reaction to being physically disabled vs Lisa’s, with Patch and everything, but that honestly is another post entirely.

I just think that the discussion of mental health in this film is really important and, frankly, really well done. Especially especially especially through the lens that Lisa is a girl. And Lisa Frankenstein is a movie about GIRLHOOD. And so the movie took the extra step to talk about the denial of women’s feelings and specifically grief, and the pathologization of them. When women feel in a way outside of a norm, they’re wrong. They’re crazy. They’re dangerous. And idk I just think it’s done really well and the comparisons are all right there.

And this is all in a movie based on Frankenstein. This is all about a character based on Victor Frankenstein. The MAD scientist. So I feel like it all fits together incredibly well.

[emmafrostdefender]

a fine line between god and animal | logan howlett x fem reader

chapter 1 - biting the apple | masterlist | read the prologue first

two new mutants arrive at the mansion.

i am churning this thing out and i have a very specific direction that i'm going to take it. the story does not really follow the canon plot because that would be boringgg. trust me, i know where this bus is heading. i hope you stay along for the ride! figuratively and literally! wink wink

warnings: cursing, religion, religious trauma, fighting, canon typical violence, 5.5k words

━━━━━━━━━━☆━━━━━━━━━━━

“Before you all leave, I want to give you food for thought. One of the heaviest themes of Frankenstein revolves around the idea of nature versus nurture. Is the creature inherently evil, or was his treatment by society what turned him into a monster?” You pose the question to your students as class comes to a close.

The similarities to your own existence is not lost on you. You hope the metaphor clicks in their minds as it did yours when you first read the classic novel. Charles made it assigned reading when he taught comparative literature at the school. When you were old enough, you took the job. And you were inspired by some of his lessons, of course.

“We will be discussing this theme next week, so those of you that haven’t done your reading…” You don’t finish your sentence, but make a face that communicates all they need to know.

Your students leave the classroom and you slump against your desk. Despite your outside calm, inside your thoughts are racing. 

Scott and Ororo aren’t back yet and you feel as if you could break something. Or a million somethings. 

The reasonable part of you knows that if something bad happened, Charles would know and tell you immediately. But the unreasonable part of you wants to drain your energy source to find them. To sneak your mind around the globe until you pick up on their footsteps crunching the ground or their signature heartbeats sending pulses into the air.

Before you can stop yourself, your feet are carrying you to the door that leads to the underground base of the X-Men. You’re going stir crazy.

Earlier in the day, before classes started, you assisted Jean in refining her powers. She wasn’t able to move a car with her mind, but she managed to start the engine without a key in the ignition. To you, that seemed more impressive. To the professor, it was exactly what he didn’t want. He wanted her to control her powers.

That word again. Control.

His reactions to Jean’s issues made you all the more wary to reveal your own struggles. With the recent revelation of Magneto’s scheme to abduct you, hesitancy bubbled up in your chest at adding anything more to Charles’ metaphorical plate. You would just be a burden.

Exiting the elevator, you enter the completely metal hallway, something of a labyrinth to newcomers. Your shoes echo against the metal and you look from left to right. No one else graces your path as you walk to the training room. There is another one upstairs that the students use when training with Scott, but you personally prefer this one. Far away from onlookers.

Your abilities don’t necessarily lend themselves to you having any physical prowess, but you managed to get trained up quite well in your years at the mansion. “The metaphysical is very much so connected to the physical. The health of your powers could very well depend on the health of your body,” Charles told you long ago. 

With nothing to do but wait, you change into the clothes from your locker and wrap your knuckles with tape. The large room is empty and you approach a punching bag. You begin. 

The rhythm you find is steady and fast. Hit after hit, blow after blow. The bag swings on its chain, bouncing back and forth between your hands. You punch and punch and punch, feeling anger build in your system. In your mind's eye, you see the bloody heart that was stolen from your chest. You see the chains holding you down. You see your mother’s face, staring at you in disgust. You see vines. Thousands of vines, each reaching to wrap themselves around your body, your arms, your legs, your neck. They rip the cross from your necklace, leaving a stinging brand there. You see your father’s lifeless form. 

And you feel your skull starting to split open when a voice says your name.

You nearly scream at the intrusion and your head flies around. “Holy shit, Jean! I could’ve killed you!”

“Yeah, I can see that,” she says with hesitancy. She’s looking at you like you’re a wounded animal about to lash out. Her eyes flit to the punching bag over your shoulder.

You look at it and gape at your handiwork. The bag ripped at the seams and sand spilled from the tears onto the ground. 

“Imagining Scott’s head?” She jokes, but it sounds strained. You hardly hear it.

You still stare at the punching bag, not quite sure what to make of this. You losing control was as infrequent as pigs flying, so…never.

A soft hand touches your shoulder. “Are you okay?” Jean asks so caringly.

You rip your gaze from the bag and look at her. You change your expression from one of near tears to one of slight amusement. “Must’ve gotten a little too enthusiastic.”

She analyzes you quickly, so quick you might’ve missed it if you didn’t know her so well. “I wanted to let you know that the jet is on its way back. They were able to locate the mutants.” You feel something in your chest relax. “Not in record time, though.”

You smirk. “Of course not. They didn’t have me.”

“Can you come help me prep the bay for when they get here?”

You nod. “Just let me change and I’ll meet you there.”

She turns to walk away and you watch her leave. Your gaze drops to your hands, where the tape did nothing to prevent the bruises forming around your knuckles. Looking at the clock hanging above the entrance, you realize two hours have passed. It’s nearly ten o’clock. 

As you enter the locker room, you swear you can still feel burning skin where your cross lays. 

You enter the loading dock of the jet in your regular attire and are greeted by Jean and the professor. They seem to be in deep discussion when you arrive, but snap their heads up the second they sense you coming. You can tell they were talking about you. 

You plaster a smile on your face and say sarcastically, “Looks like they managed to find them without me, after all.”

“They would’ve been here an hour after they left if you were with them, I’m sure,” Jean says with a playful roll of her eyes.

“Obviously.”

You shift your attention to Charles, who has begun using a computer to track the jet’s movements. Jean starts working the switchboard. You ask, “How many mutants did they pick up?”

His gaze does not move from the computer. “Two. A young girl and an older man. They were on separate paths until they met and started traveling together.” 

Your eyebrows furrow. “What made you think to bring them here?”

Charles has always been slightly particular when choosing the people to bring to his school. And even more hesitant to bring fully grown adults. At your question, his eyes shift to yours. “Why did I bring you to this school?”

You blink.

“To offer you protection. To offer you safety from a world that hurt you repeatedly. And to help you understand your abilities and use them for good. Not just to teach you Latin and calculus,” he adds with a smile. 

You nod, but still have a lingering question. “But why--”

He cuts you off, “Why am I bringing an adult man to our mansion as well?” He pauses. “Because he is extremely powerful. That kind of power can either be used toward the greater good, or harnessed for evil.”

By Erik.

“I see,” you say, hand mindlessly playing with your necklace.

Charles returns to the computer and says to you and Jean, “Get ready, they are nearly here.”

You are usually a part of the retrieval missions, making you less used to assisting with arrivals. However, you bring out two stretchers from the medical room and place them neatly by the door after getting a call from the jet. “They were in a rough fight with one of the members of the Brotherhood and the man is out cold. We think he has regenerative abilities so he isn’t badly injured, but the girl was with him when they got into a car accident. She’ll need attention. She’s jarred, but not unresponsive,” Ororo says.

Another of your jobs on the team is designated medic. You have innate knowledge of the human body and medical herbs because of your powers. It was never something you questioned when you were younger. If you scratched your arm or busted your lip open, you would skip into the woods and find something natural to heal yourself. Still, you begged Charles not to assign you to teaching biology. You despised the subject.

The ceiling of the hangar opens to reveal a velvety night sky. You feel the jet before you see it, the push it has on the trees around the mansion tingle your fingertips. The trees' movements stir your power source in your stomach, a warm, buttery feeling. The sleek aircraft lowers gently into the bay, your hair being pushed over your shoulders by the air movement. You feel relief at the sight of your friends returning from the mission; they exit the jet and you smile. Your grin droops at the sight of their expressions.

“We need you to look over these two, stat,” Scott says with urgency. 

You hurriedly bring the stretchers to the jet’s ramp and enter the main compartment with Scott and Ororo. Inside, they point you to a young girl, maybe sixteen years old, with brown hair and a soft face sitting in one of the seats. The two of them work to remove the man who sits slouched over in one of the front seats. The way they grunt, you’d think he weighs a ton.

The girl’s hands are wrapped tightly around the straps keeping her to the chair. When you approach, she jumps and stares at you with terrified eyes. “Hi, honey,” you say calmly. You introduce yourself. “I’m going to be taking care of you, okay? I just need you to undo these straps.”

She shakes her head tightly. “I can’t.”

“You can’t or you won’t?” You ask. 

She thinks between the two options and asks, “Am I safe?”

Your heart breaks. Upset coils in your stomach at the thought of all the people who have hurt this little girl. “Yes. You’re safe here.”

She seems to think this over and makes her decision. Her hands shakily unlatch themselves from the straps and move to unbuckle herself. You reach to help her, but she flinches. “Don’t touch me, please,” she says with desperation.

Your hands retract immediately.

“I just, it’s my…” she struggles with the words. “I hurt people when they touch me.”

You nod in understanding. That must have been a terrifying revelation for her. “That’s okay. We’ll get you all sorted out here. You are okay.”

She seems to relax a bit. You look over your shoulder and see your two friends lugging the man down the ramp and rolling him onto the stretcher. If this were any other scenario, you would laugh at Scott for struggling so much. 

You turn back to the girl and say, “And what’s your name?”

“Marie-- I mean, Rogue.” The way she says it makes you think she is still trying out the name for size.

“It’s very nice to meet you, Rogue.” You look her over and ask, “Are you able to walk or do you need help?”

She has undone the straps and sits a bit more forward in her chair. “I think I can stand.”

Rogue puts weight on her leg as she moves to stand up, but winces at the feeling and immediately sits back down. 

“Can I touch your clothes or is that also a problem?”

“You can. It’s just my skin.”

You sling her arm over your shoulder, careful not to touch any exposed skin, and help her out of the chair. “Just put your weight on me, hon’.”

She does as you say and leans against you completely. When you have exited the jet, you help her sit on the stretcher. The others have left, presumably to attend to the man. Charles is the only one left and he moves his wheelchair over to greet the young girl. “What is this place?” she asks after his introduction.

“It’s a place for people like you. And me. And her.” He points to you and you feel yourself smile. “It’s somewhere safe.”

Your gloved hand moves carefully over Rogue’s legs, feeling for any fractured bones or torn skin invisible to the eye.

She’s been relatively quiet for the duration of her examination, but she asks, “So, what can you do?”

You look up at her and grin. “I can do a lot of things.” You stand and walk to the shelves of potted plants on the wall to your right. You hold up one of the more pathetic looking plants and say, “See how this one is all wilted?”

Rogue nods. 

You pull your glove off with your teeth. “Watch this.”

Once your hand rests delicately against the plant’s stem, its wilting flowers perk up. A lush green color returns to its body, becoming perfectly healthy again. You look over at her and her mouth is gaping at the sight. “But why do you keep all the plants here if they’ll die without you?”

You put the plant back in its place and slip your glove back on. As you make your way back to the examination table, you say, “That’s exactly why. The professor used it as a tool to help me understand my importance here. To help me distinguish between the big parts of my powers and the smaller, more delicate parts.” You shrug as you grab some medical tape meant to alleviate and correct sprains. “I also like having company when I’m down here.”

“Company?” she asks when you kneel before her again to start wrapping her ankle.

“They talk to me,” you say, slightly mischievously.

Her mouth gapes again. “So, that’s your mutation? Talking to plants?”

“It’s a lot deeper than that. The Earth and I are like two sides of the same coin. Through our connection, I can track people if they are grounded. I can grow and heal things, but also kill them. I can create beauty, but also take it away. And I’m recently starting to realize I’m much more connected to humans than I thought.”

She considers this as you finish wrapping her ankle. 

You laugh a little. “Most of those are Professor X’s words, not mine.”

Charles arrives after a few minutes of comfortable silence, asking Rogue to come with him. You give her a small smile and tell her, “Make sure to drink those herbs with water once every day. It’ll help the pain.”

She gives you a tentative smile back. 

Before she leaves, you squeeze her gloved hand. “You’re gonna do great.”

Once the two of them are gone, you decide it's time to check on Jean and the man. She took him to the laboratory where digital scans of mutants’ brains and bodies could be completed. You walk down the hall and enter the door to the left, seeing Jean in her white lab coat. She is analyzing what looks to be brain waves on the monitor in front of her. “Oh, good,” she says when she turns to see you. “I wanted you to take a look at him. See if there’s anything I’m missing.”

You approach the table where he lays and take your first real look at him.

He is shirtless to allow the nodes and wires access to his chest. You scan over his body, seeing no obvious outer injuries. His face is calm in his induced state of comatose, but etched with what seems like a permanent line between his eyebrows. You have the urge to smooth it with your thumb.

“His name is Logan Howlett. He has extremely impressive regenerative abilities.”

Your eyes continue to study the ridges of his face. “Is that his mutation?” The thought of Charles saying he is a very powerful mutant crosses your mind. 

“That’s part of it. Once he wakes up, we'll give him a chance to tell us more. And then we’ll do a full body scan; Charles thinks there’s something else to him. He’s not wrong. Logan’s brain activity is far different from anyone I’ve ever seen,” she says in slight awe.

You continue to gaze at him. There is something else to him. Something you can’t quite place.

“Could you check his vitals for me? I didn’t notice anything strange, but I want to be sure,” Jean asks.

Hesitancy fills your body. For some reason, you don’t want to touch him. Some sort of dread pits in your stomach. Something will happen. 

Despite your body’s strange resistance, you nod curtly. You approach the table and lean over him. His scent fills your nose. It’s woodsy and smokey, all mixed with something metal that twinges your nostrils. You close your eyes and inhale, pressing your hand to his chest. In a second, you’ve been pulled to him, a vice grip around your wrist. Jean yells and starts pulling at your shoulders. Your body goes alive and you twist your arm around and headbutt him, causing him to loosen his grip on you. However, the moment your skull collides with his, you nearly pass out from the impact. It feels like he’s made of metal. 

“Oh, my God,” you groan, collapsing to the floor. Your head is throbbing.

Before you or Jean can react, he’s jumped off the table. It looks like he’s grabbed six knives and placed them between his fingers. “Where the hell am I?” he shouts.

Jean holds up her hands, but you’re still recovering on the floor, holding your forehead in your hands. Jesus, fuck. You hope He will excuse your language.

“You’re at Xavier’s School for Mutants in New York. We aren’t going to hurt you,” Jean says calmly. “Well, not anymore.” Her eyes flick down to you and you make a face.

“It wasn’t my fault he fucking attacked me,” you say with narrowed eyes. You glance at him, annoyance replacing the pain that had swept across your forehead. “What’s with the claws?” you ask, now realizing that what you thought were knives were actually thin metal spikes protruding from between his knuckles.

He stares at you, chest heaving. Then back at Jean. Fury clouds his eyesight, but you know there’s fear in there, too. 

“Look, we’re not going to hurt you. You’re safe here,” Jean says again. “I just need you to calm down and we can talk.”

The throbbing has eased and you make your way to stand. 

Something like a sarcastic grin falls on his lips. “Oh, sure, we can talk.” 

You position yourself, readying for a fight. “Get Scott,” you say to Jean quietly. 

“You sure?” she whispers back.

“Yeah, I’ve got this.”

She looks between the two of you for a moment, then runs out of the room. You hear her shoes echo in the hallway. 

“You really want to do this, bub?” he asks in a voice so quiet, you nearly miss it.

You watch him carefully. You know that you’ll never beat him, but you can keep him occupied until reinforcements arrive. “Do you really want to do this?” you respond with a grin.

Something lights in his eyes, something thrilling that makes your heart pound. He pounces, jumping over the table, his claws aiming for your throat. You dodge the attack, rolling to the side. You are back on your feet in an instant, crouching low to the ground. “Got anything else in you, big boy?” you tease, grin spreading wider at his fuming expression.

He yells, running at you with a speed you wouldn’t think him capable of. He shoves you to the ground with retracted claws and you grunt at the impact, but kick his legs out from under him, causing him to fall to the floor as you crawl away. He yanks your leg, making you stumble once more. You kick with all your might, but he won’t let go. Thinking you might be the stupidest person alive, you let him drag you so you’re pinned beneath him. “Sexy,” you say with a wink.

You can feel his steady heartbeat this close. "You're annoying," he hisses. You see his eyes drop to the cross around your neck and take that as your opportunity to kick him in the groin. He grunts and his hold around you weakens. You shove him off of you and stand to make a move for the door. You don’t think he’ll kill you, but you don’t want to take that chance.

Before you reach the door, an arm wraps around your waist and pulls you harshly against a solid body. You hadn’t noticed before, but he’s tall. Very tall. “Where do you think you’re going?” he whispers in your ear.

It sends a thrill down your spine.

“Are you always this friendly?” you whisper back, hand coming up to touch his arm. Your fingers hardly wrap around his forearm.

In the blink of an eye, he has detached himself from you, falling to the floor. Your fingers tingle from the use of your power, slowing his heart rate enough that he would go unconscious, but not enough to kill him. With his regenerative abilities, though, you assume he’ll be back on his feet in about five minutes. You hardly ever use that ability, finding it invasive. With this man, however, you think your actions are justified.

You nudge his leg with your foot when Jean and Scott come running in. “Holy shit, you took him out yourself?” Scott asks incredulously. 

“I just slowed his heart rate so that he wouldn’t break all the bones in my body. I appreciate your faith in me, though, Scott,” you say, wiping your brow.

He approaches the man on the floor, coming to stand beside you. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. He nearly broke my skull, though.”

Scott raises a brow. 

“How are we going to get him adjusted if he won’t speak to us without starting a fight?” Jean asks as she starts to fix the state of the room.

“I think our best bet is to leave him alone,” you say.

Scott looks at you. His visor blocks his eyes, but you can tell they are looking at you as if you are crazy. “Leave him alone? He’ll wreak havoc trying to find a way out.”

You shrug. “I think there’s someone who might be able to convince him to stay.”

“Better than getting a face full of claws,” Jean says, glancing at his limp body.

Exhaustion washes over you when you take the elevator back upstairs. It’s three in the morning and the events of the day are finally hitting you square in the chest.

You slump against the metal railing of the elevator, relishing in the silence. Jean and Scott stayed with Logan to put him in a state of deep sleep so that he wouldn’t go stalking around the mansion at night. You could imagine how some poor child would react to running into such a large and imposing man in the middle of the night. It would be terrifying.

You run your fingers through your hair and pinch the bridge of your nose. His smell lingers around you, crowding your space. 

What a prick.

Fighting you like that when all you wanted to do was help him? What was he going to do? Kill you?

A part of you wants to believe that he wouldn’t do that, but another part of you understands that he would’ve done anything to get out of here.

Logan.

You test the name out on your tongue. You wonder if he has another name, too. Something all of his enemies know by heart.

Deciding that that was enough thinking for the night, you shut your brain off and exit the elevator. You make your way to your bedroom and collapse on your bed, sleep hitting you like a bus.

You wake, body aching and head throbbing. Although you managed to escape the fight with no outer wounds, your body protests as you remove yourself from your bed. Thank God it’s Saturday.

Thankfully, your mind allowed you a break from the night terrors that plagued you so frequently, instead replacing them with dreams of walking through a forest. As you walked farther into the dank, the trees began to die, but you woke before anything else could happen. 

You get ready for the day and make your way downstairs. In the kitchen, you see Ororo sitting at the counter with a mug of coffee in her hands. Before you can voice your question, she says, “There’s some in the pot.”

You grin and pour the coffee into your bright pink mug along with the creamer that sits by the pot. Scott calls the shade an affront to the color pink. “So…” you start.

“He isn’t awake yet. Charles thinks he’ll be up in an hour or so.”

Relief slumps your shoulders and you take a seat across from her, moving the coffee around in your mug before you take a sip. “He is crazy strong, Ororo,” you scoff. “It felt like his skeleton was made of metal. And his claws…” You shake your head.

“Charles thinks he’ll be useful to us.”

“I know. I just hope he calms down a bit.” 

Ororo gives you a sheepish smile. “You have to admit, he is handsome, though.”

You laugh. “That’s the impression he gave you?”

She shrugs. “I might have a different one if I had to fight him.”

You contemplate her statement. You suppose he was handsome, but it didn’t startle you when you first saw him. It was the kind of beauty that creeps up and you don’t realize it until you’ve been staring at them for too long. He was rugged, yes, but there was something enticing about his looks. A boyish quality. You remember the smirk that donned his face when he challenged you to a fight.

You shake your head. “Yeah, he definitely made an interesting impression.”

The two of you leave the kitchen once some of the older students begin filing in, many making their own breakfasts instead of eating the provided meal with the other students in the dining room. “Are we training today?” you ask as the two of you walk down the main hall.

“I think Charles wants us to wait until he’s spoken with Logan. Wants us to meet him properly.”

You roll your eyes. ‘Meet him properly.’ Tackling someone to the ground isn’t a proper greeting?

“Be nice,” you hear someone say behind you. Jean falls into stride with the two of you. 

“Jean! Don’t read my thoughts,” you say, pushing her lightly.

“But you think so loudly,” she complains.

The three of you make your way outside, deciding to steer clear of the mansion until Logan has had his conversation with Charles. “I really don’t want to run into him again. It would not be conducive to a healthy future relationship,” you mutter.

“He is kind of volatile, isn’t he?” Jean asks rhetorically. “I mean, he attacked with no real provocation.”

“Waking up in a room you’ve never been in with two strangers isn’t provoking enough?” Ororo asks, taking a seat at one of the lawn tables. You join her, leaning back in your chair.

Being in nature calms your nerves, but also sets them alight. Your senses come to life again and you hear the running water of the fountain, the wind whistling through the trees, and the small animals stepping in the grass. As Jean and Ororo continue their conversation, you close your eyes and lean your head back and allow yourself to connect. It is only the second day after the full moon, which means your sensitivity to everything around you is still high. You pull at the energy from the ground, letting it throb through your body. You feel the aching in your body disappear, feel your muscles rejuvenated, feel the blood pumping through your veins.

You hear the humming of a man’s voice, scratchy and slightly off-key. It’s a voice you haven’t heard in years. He’s humming something that only graces your ears in dreams. It scratches your scalp and kisses your forehead. Dad.

You steady your breathing, trying to latch onto his voice. You’ve never experienced this in the daytime; it usually only happens when you’re asleep or in a deep meditative state. The words of your friends fade away.

In your mind’s eye, you stand from the table and follow the humming into the woods. You stumble over fallen branches, but your unusual miscoordination doesn’t prick the logical part of your brain. All you can think of is your father. His voice roaming through the trees, taking you deeper into the woods. And suddenly, you are somewhere else.

The church. 

His voice is gone.

“No,” you whimper, turning into a young girl again. 

You feel the shackles of the past lock around your wrists, forcing you to your knees. A screech escapes your throat at a forcible yank of your hair backwards. You look up to see your mother staring down at you. Her eyes are pitch black. “Your father rejects you. Even in death, he will not visit your wretched soul,” she says with a sneer, pulling your hair farther back. It feels as if she is trying to rip it from your skull.

“He never rejected me,” you spit.

“Are you so sure?”

You open your eyes with a deep inhale. It wasn’t real. You remind yourself.

Jean and Ororo stare at you, waiting for your response to something. You subtly shake your head of the images conjured by your mind and ask, “Sorry, what were we talking about?”

You hope they assume your exhaustion from last night got the better of you and you simply dozed off for a moment. “Logan is ready to meet us,” Jean says, her eyes a reflection of worry. Not toward meeting Logan, to your dismay.

“Oh, great.”

Despite a desire to remain calm, your heart thunders in your chest. You worry your cross between your fingers. You have no idea what to expect from him; you fully believe he will pounce at you again. 

Ororo holds your hand as the three of you enter Charles’ study. Scott sits on the armrest of one of the chairs in the room, arms folded over his chest. Charles is behind his desk and sitting ever so casually on the edge of the desk, is Logan.

He wears a gray X-Men sweatshirt and the jeans he had on when he arrived at the mansion. His eyes fall to yours immediately, recognition filling his gaze. You break eye contact dismissively, going to sit on the other armrest of the chair Scott sits on. You keep your eyes strictly on Charles, but you feel Logan’s on you. Your heart doesn’t steady.

“Everyone, this is Logan Howlett. The Wolverine,” Charles says, gesturing to the man sitting on his desk.

Scott huffs a laugh. “Wolverine? Like the animal?”

You nudge him in the side. “As if Cyclops is any better.”

Charles clears his throat. “Please.”

“We are the X-Men, some of which you have already met.” Charles gives you a pointed look. You throw your hands up in defense. “I promise you not all of your introductions will be so…violent.”

Scott snickers. 

“Shut the hell up,” you hiss. Your eyes flick to Logan’s. He watches the interaction between you two carefully.

Charles goes around the room, introducing each of your friends to the stranger. When he gets to you, Logan’s stare bears into you heavier than it had before. It intimidates you, but doesn’t scare you. Charles tells him your name, following with, “Others know her as Proserpina, the Roman goddess of spring.”

You don’t expect him to say anything, but his voice fills your ears for the first time since last night. “The goddess of spring is who knocked me out cold last night?”

“It’s not just nature I can manipulate,” you say tersely. “Bub.”

His eyes narrow as his lips turn up in a smirk.

Charles finishes the introductions and tells the team that training will commence in thirty minutes. The second his spiel is over, you stand. Deciding to jump into the fire, you approach Logan. “Sorry about last night,” he says.

It takes you by surprise. You expected more of a fight from him.

“Uh, it’s okay,” you say, shaking your head slightly. “You gave me some much needed practice.”

You sense your friends watching your interaction from afar. Although they are conversing casually, you feel their eyes on you.

“Yeah, you seemed a little rusty, Pro.”

You narrow your eyes. “And you seemed a little overzealous, Wolverine.”

He grunts. “If that’s overzealous, then I worry for your boyfriend.” He points to Scott on the word boyfriend.

“Scott?” You laugh. “Now, that’s a good joke. You’re funny.”

A look of confusion crosses his face and you leave him like that, feeling content with how the conversation ended. Screw a healthy relationship.

━━━━━━━━━━☆━━━━━━━━━━━

i had to get this out of my brain or i was going to go crazy. i hope you enjoyed! im excited to keep writing them :)

[billythesimp]

Hello, writer! Sorry to bother you. I really like your "x reader" works, they are amazing.. I really can't even find the words to describe my admiration.

(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄) Anyway, I have an idea. Can I request Anton and Lycaon (separately) with short reader? (preferably male, but gender neutral is also ok!) Reader has no physical strength , he is the "Brain of the team", and therefore in dangerous moments he need to be protected.

If you don't like the request, then feel free to skip it! Take care of yourself, don't forget to rest :"3

[Grasping my chest while gritting my teeth, a faint pink on my skin]

I got a compliment- I fucken love you- 💞💞💖💖

[Is proceeded to get bonked with a shoe, an annoyed Bangboo staring at their sibling human in disbelief]

Ahem- thank you very much! hell works hard but ZZZ writers work faster.

Short Stuff

⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎…

Man, I love Anton. If I could I would marry him. So this can seem a little goof, goofy writing since I try to distinct the boys and the reader from time to time, hopefully it's to your liking!

Anton / Lycaon x Short-Male!Reader

𝑃𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑖𝑡…⋙

tw: none?

✦ Being short has its pros, especially in the Hollows as you're usually a smaller target and can sneak around easier. Which is convenient since they’re not the strongest of the bunch, only really having enough to get them by the heavy lifting that is rarely called upon them to deal with. Really, he works in finances and research on the construction site, being another pair of eyes for Koleda to call upon should she need more supervision on their projects, how Anton caught their attention was beyond their understanding. Yet, Anton is always seeking them out personally before dragging them along into his little crew.

✦ Because of this, he loves to use them as an armrest for his arm or sometimes; his bro. Of course if you're a friend of Anton, you're a friend of his bro, and so far his bro really likes him, always roaring at the sight of him whenever they go out to find them. From the looks of it, he is ok with Anton’s bro, though there have been times where Anton’s bro has at least jumpscared him from behind when sneaking up on them. They both got a good scolding from him. 

✦ As mentioned before, he does go into the hollows with the crew from time to time, mainly as an observer and informant. They aren’t the strongest and so they can’t really help out a lot unless it’s along the lines of carrying files or pushing storage carts around. If Anton is ever with them, best believe that any heavy lifting is his work, never letting his ‘bro’ carry anything as he doesn’t want them to strain their muscles. Really it’s an excuse to be of help to them and have a casual conversation; As if they don’t do that enough. But combat- no, they aren’t fit for those kind of situations. 

✦ Hence when a sudden ethereal attack happens on the crew on site, everyone is at alarm before running for safety. At that moment, he’s not able to escape in time before getting trapped between cargo and boxes of shipment, tucked behind it as they hear the eerie distorted growls of the creatures lurking around the corners. But the roar of a powerful hand drill cuts through the air as Anton leaps into the fight, yelling for him to run to safety with a clear opening. Moving along in a hurry, the two regroup with the workers as another group is dispatched to clear the site once again so they could return to work. That is after everyone is taken back for a health inspection.

✦ Anton is by his side the entire time as they recount what resources were destroyed, workers on the roster and whatnot to Koleda, sticking to his side incase they suddenly feel faint after being exposed to ethereals at that close range. While he’s convinced it’s cuz he wants to make sure his bro is alright, in reality he was worried when he spotted them in the attack and leaped into action to protect them. Losing him would be like losing his bro, someone he cared dearly for. He would make sure he was safe no matter what, because that’s how much he meant to him.

✦ Working with Lycaon is like working with someone of equal stature. If you had to pick who the leading figures of Victorian Housekeeping are, they’d say you and Lycaon. The both of you work diligently with every commission and assignment, like clockwork with how they’re able to move in sync. Should Lycaon need someone to relay information regarding any subject, he’d turn to him. In a similar fashion, should you need someone to deal with our reconsense or transferring larger packages and items, Lycaon is more than willing to lead his strength.

✦ Admittedly, Lycaon has offered to help him grow some more muscle here and there, as well as develop a suitable fighting style. The times the two had gone to a gym to practice, Lycaon can’t help but put his hands on them. Of course, he’s only lending a hand in guiding them through their practices, but seeing how small and slim they are in some areas, he could only wonder if he’s taking good care of himself. This only leads him to wonder if he should monitor their diet as well to ensure they are getting the right amount of nutrients. 

✦ When Von needs help with anything, he’ll always go to them as he is confidence in their ability to complete any task with perfection. And anytime he thanks them or even praises Lycaon for a job well-done, he can’t help but twitch his ears and fluff up his tail a little out of pride. Lycaon makes an effort to help all his workers, as a boss it’s only right to look after them, however Rina has teased him for picking favorites. It’s not his fault you ask him for his height when they needed something on the top shelf. He swore those plates were never that high up. 

✦ Within the hollows should they dare venture in, he works more in the back as support. Comming any details within the area and alerting the group of any potential dangers. Also a technical genius, they are in charge of any computers and machinery, though Lycaon stands close by should anything go awry. He looms over them, sometimes asking them about how they are processing it or updating them on their surroundings. Should anything come up, he’d always request they take cover ‘just case’ before swiftly dealing with the issue. 

✦ The way he pulls them behind him, Lycaon will work like a monster to keep him safe. The thought of their smaller figure curled up beneath the enemy only motivating him to stay close and keep them in his line of sight. Von will not be having any close calls with his staff, let alone him. Every instance they enter a new layer of the hollow or step into a new room, he’ll always reach behind him to feel for their smaller hands, only satisfied once he can feel them trailing right behind him.

[owlf45]

romance me with mosquito facts

mosquitoes, when in a condensed enough space, sound like gentle rain.

i work with a specific mosquito species, called the aedes agypti, which carries diseases like dengue virus, west niles virus, and yellow fever. the males are generally smaller than the females, though emerge into adults sooner. you can tell the difference between males and females by the fluffy antennas of the males.

gay mosquitoes everywhere.

mosquitoes tend to be social, if stupid creatures. if you stick two mosquitoes alone in a cage, they probably wont chill (and wont mate). it's just not their style. this is especially frustrating when trying to set up specific genetic crosses.

although i never met them, there used to be a researcher at the lab who did the most batshit stuff. we keep our mosquitoes in mesh cages, so they can't escape but they can feed through the mesh (so we don't have to reach in and out of the cages and potentially let some loose). this old researcher used to grab the morning newspaper, roll up his pants, collapse in a chair and settle his calves over the mesh cages for literal thousands of mosquitoes to feed from him. for hours. i want to meet this man so bad.

mosquitoes are stupid and annoying and prone to killing themselves akin to a goldfish constantly getting stuck in a filter. but strangely enough, you grow to love them. they are simultaneously fragile and durable, easily discernible and difficult to hunt. you can tear their hind legs off and put them through shock a few times and they'll be fine, but a single finger will smush them (quite inconveniently, when you know that bitch could've moved!).

directly after bloodfeeding a female mosquito, if you kill her—often by clapping her directly between your hands (female mosquitoes are the only ones to bloodfeed)—the blood will still be warm.

although i dont screen larvae for traits as often as I used to (I tend to do more database/mosquito caretaking work now), certain gene-linked traits can be found physically in the larvae and pupae stages—sometimes they glow bright blue/green under fluorescent lighting, for example.

like I said though, i mostly work with caretaking. i do the bloodfeeding, i replace their food and water, and i make sure they're in good health and can lay eggs on a proper surface. the mosquitoes under my care live for about a month and a half, though if they're still alive by the time we need to hatch the next generation, we simply fridge them and kill them off. put mosquitoes in the fridge for a few minutes and they'll go to sleep. put them in for a few hours, and they'll usually die— we keep them in for 24 hours to make sure, though.

mosquitoes are difficult to contain. compared to other biochemistry departments, you have tiny creatures that are mobile and can fly, and can't always be seen by the average person unless they're specifically looking for it. I've worked in microbiology labs before, but if there was contamination, it was solely on the researcher. contamination from a loose mosquito is hard to track. this is all to say that I work in a bunker—double doors, minimal vents, no windows.

mosquitoes are the deadliest animals in the world. mosquitoes kill over a million people a year (hence my research). i sit in the back of the bunker sometimes, in the side warm room where we keep our cages of mosquitoes, hundreds of different genetically modified lines in progress at a time, and I have blood on my palms— blood that I fed to my subjects before I squashed them because they escaped from their cages, and I think about the fact that for over 200 lines of this species, I grow them from eggs to adults to death and hatch their offspring again and again and again. i think of lovecraftian horror and I hear gentle rain and remember images of war that keep me up late at night, and I wonder what's the point, for a few numbers in my bank account, and then another mosquito has gotten loose and lands on my arm and doesn't bite me, because it's already full; because i already fed it; because it's just looking for a small, dark place to rest in the folds of my jacket.

mosquitoes love to hide on black surfaces.

[wwooyology]

The Murder House | Pt. Two

𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕/𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒓𝒐 | 𝒑𝒕. 𝒐𝒏𝒆 | 𝒑𝒕. 𝒕𝒘𝒐 | 𝒑𝒕. 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒆𝒆 | 𝒆𝒑𝒊𝒍𝒐𝒈𝒖𝒆

「synopsis」 : with everyone's lives on the line, will luck be on your side? except it seems like whoever trapped you here doesn't plan on letting any of you leave that easy... suspicion is rising, and trust is starting to falter, but can you save everyone and bust whoever put you and your friends through this hell?

「word count」 : 11.3k

「genre」 : horror/thriller, gore, angst, psychological thriller, mystery

「warnings」 : MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!!, cussing, spiders/bugs, water, blood, mentions of betrayal, arguments, mentions of claustrophobia & arachnophobia/entomophobia, mentions of spider venom, life or death situations, more mind games, mental health disorders (anxiety, panic attacks, breakdowns, etc...), (some tags will be hidden as to not spoil the story!)

Jay groaned as he opened his eyes, his hand instantly going to his head, trying to soothe the dull pounding behind his eyes. Riki, who had just been shaking the older male, looked down at him before moving back, letting him sit up. As the throbbing died down, Jay’s brain swirled with questions once more, how many times had they been drugged at this point? Where had they been taken now? And most importantly, where was everyone else?

“Where are we?” Jay asked, voice hoarse from the lack of any fluid, his eyes scanning the room. “And where’s y/n?” Riki watched him with an unreadable expression but rolled his eyes when he wasn’t looking.

The walls looked as if they were made out of concrete, water stains dripping down from the ceiling. The ground was solid and cold under Jay’s palms, sending a shiver up his spine. If he didn’t know any better he would have thought this was some kind of dungeon. 

“I’m not sure.” Riki’s voice was low as he glanced over his shoulder, “looks like some kind of basement.” 

Jay scrunched his eyebrows at the boy’s calm tone. He knew that Riki had always been exceptional at hiding his emotions. This, however, he would think would warrant at least a tremor in his voice, but there was nothing.

The last thing Jay wanted was to throw any more accusations at anyone, let alone his little brother, so he just brushed it off. Standing on his feet, he dusted his jeans off before he heard what sounded like chains rattling on the other side of the room. Both Riki and Jay’s heads snapped over in that direction, and their eyes grew wide.

There, in a room separated by a glass window, sat Heeseung, hands cuffed to the arms of a chair. Pure fear and panic painted his face, which was only mirrored onto Sunghoon’s as Jay looked over at the taller male. 

Sunghoon stood in front of the window, fear etched into his features as he looked at Heeseung. His heart was beating at what seemed to be a million miles an hour. His eyes never strayed from the older male as Jay and Riki walked up to join him.

Heeseung’s panicked eyes move over to Jay when he comes into view, arms straining against their restraints, “Jay, what’s the fuck is going on?” His voice was higher in pitch as he yanked on the cuffs once more, but just like his last attempts, they proved to be fruitless.

Jay’s words caught in his throat as he started to realize what was going on. This was another game. 

Sunghoon saw movement in the corner of his eye, causing him to look up. He felt his blood run cold. Above Heeseung was a crate of spiders, at least a couple dozen crawling all over each other. Seeing the creatures made his skin crawl, and his mouth went dry as he tried to speak.

“I don’t wanna panic anyone, but…” He spoke quietly, pointing to the tub of spiders, which caused all eyes to follow. Jay’s eyes nearly popped out of his skull while Riki licked his lips. However, Heeseung…

“Guys, get me the fuck outta here! I mean it!” Heeseung started to panic, roughly pulling on his restraints. His heart beating so loudly it was deafening, his body starting to shake as sweat coated his skin. Bile crept up his throat the longer he kept looking at the creatures that hung over his head. Spiders had always, always freaked Heeseung out, going as far as jumping on the couch, nearly falling right on Sunghoon when he found a tiny one on his apartment floor, begging you to kill it.

“Ahhh, everyone is already awake,” A distorted voice cuts through the speakers in the room, causing all four of the boys to jump; Heeseung stopped moving, his hands still trembling. “Hello, gentlemen, and welcome to game number two! Let’s get straight into it, ya? Your last rooms may have been easy peasy lemon squeezy, but that doesn’t quite travel over.” Sunghoon’s eyes flicker all over the room, trying to find the source of the voice, “now you better put on your running shoes because you’ll have to move quickly if you wanna get your friend outta there, otherwise, well, he’ll experience a pain like no other.” Just then a big screen powers on, displaying a timer, the numbers frozen. “Good luck! Oh, and don’t let the bugs bite!” The voice then cut out, and a spotlight clicked on, showing a lockbox on a table that sat right under the screen.

Then the timer started. Jay’s heart dropped, his feet glued to the spot on the ground, his ears ringing loudly. Sunghoon’s horrified face shifts back to Heeseung, who is staring at the ground by his feet. Riki watches Sunghoon from the corner of his eye, studying his expression, his hands stuffed deep in his jacket pockets.

Sunghoon swallowed thickly before looking between Riki and Jay, “how can we be sure that the spiders will actually drop?” His voice shook, hands trembling at his sides, “or if they’re even venomous?” 

Jay couldn’t help but glare at the younger male, “Are you dense or something, dude? They have literally drugged us. Twice! What makes you think they won’t drop those spiders on him, huh?” The tone in Jay’s voice caused Sunghoon to recoil, flinching slightly.

“I’m just saying there’s a possibi-” “Those look like Sydney funnel-web spiders, highly venomous.” Riki cut Sunghoon off, causing both of them to look over at him, “if that many were to bite him at once, he’d die in five minutes tops.” he explained, voice trembling slightly as he looked over, meeting Sunghoon’s eyes, gleam in his pupils. “We’d need an ass ton of anti-venom, and that’s if there is any.”

At the new information, Heeseung felt his blood run cold. His arms violently tugged at his restaurants, and tears started to brim in his eyes. His attention then turned to Sunghoon, who was still looking at Riki.

“This is what you wanted, huh?” Heeseung seethed, sending a deadly glare toward the dark-haired male, “Lock us in some fucking sick and twisted games just to kill us off, just like you did the hacker. Is this what you get off to?”

Sunghoon’s eyes blew wide at Heeseung’s accusations, hurt contorting his face into a glare of his own. “What the hell is that supposed to mean? What fucking hacker?”

“Oh, don’t play dumb; we found your bracelet on the dead guy's body.” Heeseung scoffed, tugging on the restraints once more, “thought you could hide it, huh? Well, news flash, if you’re gonna kill someone, try not to lose any of your belongings on the body!”

“My bracelet? My bracelet is on my…” Sunghoon’s words trailed on as he held his hand up, shocked eyes right on the spot where his bracelet would normally be sitting.

“Oh, cat got your tongue? Yeah, we caught your ass red fucking handed.” Heeseung’s words dripped venom, eyes burning with rage.

Sunghoon glared at the older male, his body starting to shake due to anger and embarrassment. Riki watched the two go at each other, standing just a few feet away while Jay tried to concentrate on finding the pieces of clues they needed.

“Yeah and how do we know that you didn’t plant the bracelet on the body, huh?” Sunghoon turned the accusation around on Heeseung, “How do we know you're not the one behind all of this?” 

Heeseung laughed in disbelief, “Yeah because I would totally cuff myself to a chair under a box of the most venomous spiders IN THE FUCKING WORLD!” He shouted, yanking the cuffs and ignoring the pain that shot up his arm.

“Who knows, maybe this is just another tactic to throw us off your trail!” Sunghoon’s eyes narrowed, and that’s when Jay finally had enough, stepping over to the three.

“Stop. Both of you, this is fucking ridiculous.” Jay interjected a glare of his own, adoring his face, “We don’t have all the time in the world to sit here and argue about who’s behind all of this. You two bickering like a damn pair of street cats is only wasting time.” He shot a glare at Heeseung, too, who just shook his head, bottom lip caught between his teeth. “And you, why the fuck are you just standing there? This isn’t some telnova you can just sit back and watch, we need to find these clues.”

Sunghoon scoffs, nodding his head before looking over at Jay, pointing a finger at his chest, “And what about you?”

Caught off guard, Jay raises an eyebrow, “what about me?”

“I don’t know, maybe the fact that you seem pretty damn calm considering everything that’s happening,” Sunghoon stated in a matter-of-fact tone, causing Jay’s eyes to narrow into slits.

“One of our closest friends is sitting under a fucking ticking time bomb; I have no other choice than to be calm, Sunghoon.” Jay fumed, pointing a finger in Heeseung’s direction.

“How can you even be sure that they’ll actually drop?” Sunghoon resorted once again.

“Can you guarantee they won’t?” Jay asked, his undertone obviously showing that the trust he held for Sunghoon was starting to dwindle. His eyes were hard as he stared at the younger boy, who suddenly went silent. “Exactly, but if you’re okay with just sitting back and watching as one of your best friends sits on the brink of death, then be my fucking guest, but don’t expect anyone to come to save your sorry ass when it’s you in his position.” 

Sunghoon looks at Jay in complete disbelief, his hands trembling at his sides as heat rushes up his neck. He held eye contact with Jay, waiting to see if he would realize just how messed up what he said was, but when Sunghoon realized that he wasn’t going to, he looked away with a scoff.

“So quick to throw the blame on me, but what about your innocent princess? How do you know she didn’t plant my fucking bracelet on the body?” Sunghoon sneers, causing Jay’s jaw to tighten.

“That’s a pretty low blow, Sunghoon, blaming my sister because you fucked up.” Riki glared at the older male, arms crossed over his chest.

“I don’t kill anyone,” Sunghoon growled, eyes shooting daggers at the boy.

“Oh, and my sister did?” Riki shot back, a look of pure disgust covering his features, “And to think she thinks of you as a friend.” He scoffs, shaking his head and Sunghoon laughs, eyes looking away from Riki.

“Your sister isn’t this princess you see her as Riki. She’s not as innocent as you may want to think she is.” Sunghoon said, a fire burning in his pupils.

Riki could feel a rage bubble up in his gut; however, before he could open his mouth to resort, Jay intervened.

“Knock it the hell off,” Jay exclaims, grabbing Sunghoon’s shoulder. His patience is starting to wear thin.

Sunghoon just shrugged him off, glaring at him, “back off.”

That’s when that last little bit of patience that Jay had broken. Fed up with how Sunghoon was acting, Jay grabbed a hold of the boy's collar, pulling him close. “We are running out of time, so you can either hop off your high horse and help or shut up and get the fuck out of our way.”

Taken aback, Sunghoon shoves Jay off of him before taking a step back, his eyes narrowing. Heeseung sits quietly in his seat. The argument is like background noise as he lets his thoughts run wild.

“Did you do this, Sunghoon?” Heeseung’s voice was flat, with no sign of any emotion, head hung low. Sunghoon’s eyes snap over to him, opening his mouth to say no, but Heeseung cuts him off, “Then why was your bracelet on the body?” Heeseung lifted his head, and Sunghoon’s breath caught in his throat; tears brimmed in the older male’s eyes, threatening to fall at any moment. “If I’m going to die here tonight, I at least want to know why.” Heeseung’s voice cracked, and the tears he fought so hard to hold back broke free, streaming down his cheeks and dripping from his chin.

Sunghoon was at a complete loss for words, the severity of everything finally starting to sink in. Tears of his own filled his eyes as he watched Heeseung break. 

“I didn’t kill anyone, I swear.” Sunghoon nearly choked on his words, “I don’t know why my bracelet was there, but it wasn’t me.” However, his words held very little importance to Heeseung, and Sunghoon could see the trust crumbling into fine dust. Sunghoon then walked closer to the window, placing his palm flat on the glass, “We’re gonna get you out of here, and we’re gonna get out of here alive, I promise.” Sunghoon’s voice shook, tears dripping from his eyelashes.

Heeseung just shook his head, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "You shouldn’t make promises that you can’t keep, Sunghoon.”

Sunghoon repeats his words once more before wiping the tears from his face and turning towards Jay. Taking a few steps, he called out to the older male, gaining his attention.

Jay turned, a glare still fixed on his face, “If you’re going to say some stupid shit again, I don’t wanna hear it.”

The younger boy just swallowed thickly, shaking his head, “What do you need me to do?”

Jay looked him up and down, scrutinizing him before holding a piece of paper up. " We need to find two more pages with these symbols on them. I already found two, and Riki is over there looking for another.” He explained, pointing over to the younger boy who was rummaging through a filing cabinet.

Sunghoon nodded quickly before turning and making his way over to the cabinets that lined the far wall, tearing them completely apart. His mind was going haywire, thoughts overshadowing themselves as he repeatedly told himself that he would get Heeseung out. He was so lost in his thoughts that he hadn’t even noticed the eyes that were watching him.

Riki peeked over his shoulder, seeing that both Jay and Sunghoon were too immersed in trying to find more of the code to be paying him any mind, and Heeseung’s eyes were trained on the floor by his feet, lost in his mind. Curing his fingers around whatever sat in his palm, he stuffed his hands in his jacket pockets just as Jay turned around.

The silver-haired male nodded at Sunghoon as he handed him the piece of paper that he had found before turning towards the younger boy.

“Have you found anything yet?” Jay asked, and Riki just shook his head, tightening his fist in his pocket. He had to bite his tongue as he listened to Jay grumble out a few curses before telling Sunghoon to keep looking. His head turned back to the timer, watching the seconds tick away.

~

The three of them completely tore the room apart, trying to find the last piece of the code. Sunghoon was starting to grow frustrated because he was sure that they had searched every single nook and cranny of the room but had yet to see any sign of it. Jay chewed on the nail of his thumb, trying to think of any other place they could look, while Riki continued to search through the cabinet on the opposite wall of Jay.

Heeseung lay his head back on the chair, eyes closed, thinking back to his childhood and all of the memories he’d made over the past few years. He was always a quiet kid when he was younger, never really feeling like he fit in anywhere. He was always sitting in the back of the class, staring out the window as music played through his headphones. Then he met Sunghoon in middle school.

Sunghoon was a new transfer student, perceived to be this quiet, cold guy who barely spoke a word to anyone. The only thing that anyone knew was that he could always be found at the ice rink or in the park with his camera. Heeseung saw himself in the boy, and he knew just how lonely it got, so he started to talk to Sunghoon every day regardless if the younger wanted him to or not. One day, Sunghoon stopped fighting him, and they became close friends, then they met Jay in high school. Then his mind went to when he first met you; you and Riki had just moved into his apartment complex, and you were carrying boxes up the stairs and almost fell. Thankfully for you, maybe not so much Heeseung, he was walking right behind you on his phone until you fell back, right into him. He managed to grab both you and the railing in time before either of you could fall; however, his phone didn’t quite make it safely.

“Ya know there’s safer ways to fall for me.” He teased you, watching as your face started turning red. You had apologized and promised to fix his phone, but he just chuckled, telling you that it was fine before helping you lug all of your belongings into your apartment, where Riki was waiting for you. From there, the two of you become inseparable, leading you to introduce him to Jake and Sunoo, and he introduces you to the other guys.

Everything was picture-perfect. Sure, you all have your ups and downs, but what friend group doesn’t? So he was left with the question of why. Why were you guys brought to this point? What had caused this? Where did they do wrong?

Heeseung lifted his head just as Jay walked in front of the window, “Jay.” His voice was hoarse from holding back tears but was still heard by the silver-haired male, causing him to stop and look over at Heeseung, “Do me a favor and tell y/n that I’m sorry for being so mean, ya?”

Jay felt his heart drop when he realized what Heeseung was implying; shaking his head, he told him no, “You can tell her yourself, dumbass, we’re getting you out.”  

However, Heeseung just shook his head softly, a small, sad smile playing on his chapped lips. The light that used to always gleam in his eyes was slowly vanishing. This broke Jay’s heart because he knew that his closest friend was accepting the fact that he may not make it out of there alive.

“There’s only fifteen minutes left, Jay. I’m not getting out of here.” Heeseung’s words stung Jay to the depths of his soul. Tears that he was trying to keep at bay started to spill over, flowing down his flushed cheeks. “Tell my mom that I love her and to make sure to look after herself.”

Jay wiped his face after finally realizing that he was crying, glaring at Heeseung, “Shut up, we’re getting you out of here.” His voice shook, willing himself to keep from breaking down, not even sure who he was really trying to reassure Heeseung or himself.

Sunghoon was rushing around the room, his heart beating in his ears and he tore apart places that he had already looked in multiple times. He knew that the last piece had to be around here somewhere, it couldn’t be gone, it just couldn’t. Turning around, his eyes landed on the younger boy who hadn't moved from that one side of the room.

“Riki, are you sure you haven’t found anything?” His voice came out a lot louder than he had intended, causing Riki to look over at him with wide, shocked eyes.

“Are you saying I was lying? I have been looking this whole time just like the two of you.” Riki sneered, glaring at the dark-haired male.

“Fuck, no, sorry.” Sunghoon curses, running his fingers through his hair, avoiding Riki’s harsh gaze before making his way over to the lockbox.

He grabbed the lock with shaky hands, inspecting the pattern of symbols on the dial. Running his fingers over the grooves, he turned around and found Jay hunched over another table, deep in his thoughts.

“Couldn’t we just try to guess the code?”

Both Riki and Jay looked over at the boy, Jay’s face devoid of any emotion as tears rolled down his cheeks, while Riki’s was stoic almost as if he wasn’t fully there.

“There are way too many possibilities, not to mention we don’t even have the last piece, so it’ll make it ten times harder,” Riki stated, pulling his lips into a thin line when he saw Sunghoon’s face drop.

“We don’t have the time for it anyway.” Jay’s voice cracked, eyes avoiding Sunghoon’s as he looked up at the timer, causing the other two to look over as well.

‘00:10:27’

Sunghoon felt the lump in his throat return, his body growing warm as a thin layer of sweat coated his icy skin. His ears were ringing so loud he couldn’t hear anything other than the high-pitched sound. Turning around, he started trying any combination on the lock that he could think of that involved the three pieces that they already had. Mixtures of curses and cries fell from his lips every time one of them turned out to be wrong.

Jay pushed himself off of the table before rummaging through the cabinets for the nth time, a small inkling of hope that he’d be able to find it. His hands shook so back that he could barely grab onto anything, his vision blurry as the tears fell from his lashes endlessly.

Riki moved from his spot, standing in front of the window to meet Heeseung’s gaze, who offered him a small smile that didn’t quite meet his eyes. The younger boy stood there with a solemn look on his face, his hands stuffed deep in the pockets of his jacket.

“Hey Riki,” Heeseung’s voice was merely above a whisper, but the boy heard it nonetheless. "Take care of your sister. She’s going to need you after tonight.”

Riki swallows thickly, nodding his head, “always.”

Heeseung nods his head slowly, his smile never leaving his face. His eyes then travel to the other two, Sunghoon’s movements frantic when he realizes just how quickly time is running out. Jay moves over to the cabinet that Riki has been looking through, throwing everything to the ground as he searches it.

“Guys,” Heeseung calls out to them, but neither of them pays him any mind, not wanting to hear anything he has to say. Their hope was hanging on by a thread, but they were going to try their damnedest, even to the very last second. Heeseung bit the inside of his cheek, his heart rate speeding up as he watched the seconds tick by. “Listen to me, dammit!”

‘00:01:25

Sunghoon and Jay reluctantly looked away from what they were doing, tears stinging their eyes as they met the older male’s eyes. Heeseung looked between them with a sorrowful look, his eyes glancing over to Sunghoon, “I’m sorry for accusing you, Hoon; I know you’d never do that.” Tears started to spill from Heeseung’s bloodshot eyes; Sunghoon bit his lip, shaking his head.

‘00:01:02’

“It’s okay, Hee. I’m sorry for lashing out.” Sunghoon’s voice shook, fresh tears brimming his eyes. His heart felt as if someone was stabbing multiple tiny little knives into it before leaving it to bleed out. Was he really going to lose his best friend like this? The first person who actually saw him as a person?

“Water under the bridge, right?” Heeseung’s voice was soft, not a single ounce of malice causing Sunghoon’s heart to lurch, nodding his head too afraid his words would fail him.

‘00:00:54’

Heeseung’s eyes then moved over to Jay, who was standing there, lip trapped between his teeth, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. “Jay, go and ask y/n out when y’all make it out of here, ya?”

Jay felt dizzy, blinking harshly to try and clear the tears that had built up on his waterline. Licking his chapped lips, he nods, “Yeah…” His voice trails on the first tear, dropping, allowing the others to follow. His whole body shook as he watched his best friend look over at Riki, all the thoughts of their past circulating in his mind. His heart was cracking little by little until it was completely shattered, the shards cutting everything around it. Was this really going to be the end of their friendship? Was it really going to end before they got the chance to be each other's best man at their weddings? Before they could watch their kids grow up together?

‘00:00:42’

Riki refused to meet Heeseung’s eyes, keeping them glued to the ground right by his feet. His mind was swirling with thoughts, but his face remained unchanged even when Heeseung coaxed him to look up.

“You’re a good kid, Riki. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. I know your sister may give you a hard time, but she loves you. So much.” Heeseung’s voice then cracked, “I will always be with you guys. Feel free to take any of my games from the apartment. I wouldn't want them to go to waste.” Tears were flowing down Heeseung’s flushed cheeks as he offered the boy a small smile.

Riki didn’t say a word, his jaw clenched tightly. His eyes seemed to have darkened as he altered his gaze, the tips of his ears turning a shade of scarlet red. How was he going to explain all of this to his sister? How was he going to be able to sit there watching as she sobbed over the death of her ‘friends’?

‘00:00:27’

Heeseung closed his eyes, allowing tears to fall from the corner of his eyes. Little snippets of his life flashed behind his eyelids, allowing him to cherish those memories one last time before they were all lost to time. He inhaled, shaky, before opening his eyes to look at his friend once more. 

‘00:00:09’

“Thank you for everything, for dealing with my annoying ass, for allowing me to be your friend, for allowing me to find a place where I belong.” Heeseung smiled weakly, “Thank you for being my family.”

Time felt like it had stopped when the timer buzzed, and the crate opened, allowing the spiders to drop. The creatures scattered all over Heeseung’s body, some biting as soon as they landed. His lip was caught between his teeth, trying his best to muffle any sounds that escaped his lungs, eyes screwed shut as pain erupted all over his body. His jaw fell slack as screams of pure agony echoed all around the room. Each bite he received seemed to be ten times worse than the last, leaving his skin to feel like it was being set ablaze. His arms involuntarily jerked against the restraints in any attempt to get out, but he couldn’t.

Sunghoon felt like he was going to be sick as he watched the insects latch themself onto any exposed skin Heeseung had shown before turning his head, hand covering his mouth. Riki averted his gaze, hands clenching into fists in the pockets of his jacket once more. Jay watched in utter disbelief, tears rolling down his face as he watched and listened to Heeseung start to quiet until they were merely an echo in his brain, and his body lay still, his skin red and irritated as bumps started to show from the multitude of bites.

Then a shutter came down, blocking Heeseung’s mutilated body from their view. Jay was rooted to the same spot, eyes on his reflection that started right back at him. Sunghoon takes a small step back before dropping down to the ground, head in his hands, pure terror and shock etched on his face. Riki continued to stare at the wall just beside the window, his face voice of any emotion, but there was a slight gleam in his eyes, fingers fidgeting with the slip of paper in his pocket.

Jay then shouted out of pure rage and pain, completely clearing the table of the lockbox and papers. Tears continued to stream down his face as he hit the table a few times until his knuckles were bruised and swollen. A string of cusses left his lips until they died down into quiet sobs as his head hung low.

The sound of a beep echoed in the deadly silent room, causing Jay and Riki to look up; Sunghoon stayed crouched down, mumbling incoherently. Jay felt a newfound sense of rage bubble up in his chest as he read the words on the screen.

‘GAME OVER – BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME!!’

Just then, the lock on their door clicks, signaling that they are allowed to leave; being the closest to it, Riki grabs the handle, pulling it open. He looked down the dimly lit hallway seeing no sign of anyone else before looking back at the other two. Sunghoon was unmoving, fingers knotted in his hair as he stared at the window, while Jay’s eyes stayed glued to the TV screen, his mind running a million miles an hour.

Riki swallowed thickly before opening his mouth to speak, “We should probably go find the others.” His voice was quiet as the weight of the room started to set in on him.

Heeseung was gone.

It had been about five minutes since the timer had started, and the water turned on. Five minutes since you and Jungwon scrambled to search the nearest cabinet. Five minutes of Sunoo watching you silently, his brain mulled with thoughts.

You had torn almost every book, decoration, file, paper, or other item out of the cabinet. Mumbling small curses to yourself as your hand slipped, almost causing you to cut your palm on the corner, Jungwon looked over. Hearing your small grunt of pain, worry flickered in his eyes.

“Hey, I found something!” Jake exclaims, holding up a box. "There’s some kind of combination lock on it.” He sets the box down just as you and Jungwon walk over, moving out of the way.

“There’s probably two other boxes like this,” Jungwon states, eyes flickering up to you before moving to Jake.

You quickly nodded, looking between both of the boys, telling them to continue looking for the other boxes. The three of you then split off once more, tearing the room apart for the other objects, knowing they held the key to getting Sunoo out of the box he was in.

Before too long both of the other boxes had been found, you and Jungwon setting them on the table next to the one that Jake had found. You stood there looking at them, thinking about your next course of action despite the shaking of your hands. Jake stood next to you, his hand lightly placed on your lower back, causing a chill to run down your spine.

“Do you think the codes are the same?” Jake asked, bottom lip caught between his teeth, his hand still on you.

Becoming uncomfortable with the way his fingers were curling around the fabric of your shirt, you took a step away, putting a good distance between the two of you. “I doubt it,” you cleared your throat, looking everywhere but the brunette’s eyes. " The codes are probably hidden around the room, too.”

Jake’s jaw clenched as he tried his best to push the annoyance down, nodding his head. You swallowed thickly before returning his nod and turning around to walk away, leaving the boy to watch you with gleaming eyes.

He ran his tongue over his teeth before turning and walking over to another filing cabinet, pulling the drawer open quite roughly. Jungwon watched with furrowed brows, clearly confused by Jake’s reaction and wondering why he started acting so hostile. However, he pushed it to the side, deciding to deal with it later, whenever they all got out.

It had taken about five minutes before you scrambled to your feet, exclaiming that you had found one of the codes, catching both of the boys’ attention. Quickly making your way over to the table where the boxes were sitting you showed Jugwon the page before bending down to start unlocking the lock. However, your hands shook with so much force that it was causing the lock to slip from your fingers. Tears were blurring your vision, which only added to your struggle, causing you to let out a few curses.

Noticing your struggle, Jake walks over and places a soft hand on your shoulder. " Hey, just slow down. You’re rushing too much.”

Scoffing, you shrugged his hand off, turning to glare at him. “Slow down? Jake, he is in there with running water, I don’t have the time to slow down!” You pointed a finger in Sunoo’s direction, “We need to get the keys out so we can unlock that fucking box before he drowns!”

Jake was taken aback by your outburst, but the shock quickly shifted to annoyance, “yeah, we do need to get the keys out, but you seem to be incapable of doing so with all of your shaking.” He rolled his eyes, and you opened your mouth to retort, but he beat you to it, “No one is going to yell at you for not going fast enough; we’re not your parents, for fucks sake, y/n.”

Your jaw fell slack, and all of the words you were going to say died on your tongue as you stared at the male in utter disbelief. Jungwon stood off to the side with a nervous look on his face, unsure of how to defuse the situation.

“Hey guys, let’s not-”

“That's a real fucking low blow, Jake,” Your tone was full of hurt as you glared at him before turning back to the boxes.

Jake just scoffs, rolling his eyes, “god, I forgot how much of a damn drama queen you are.”

Jungwon looked at Jake in surprise while you tried your best to ignore him. Your jaw clenched tightly as you unlocked the box. You pulled the lid open before taking the key that was sitting inside and pocketing it. Sending Jake one last glare, you turned and walked off in pursuit of the other lock combinations.

Sensing the tension in the air, Jungwon walks over and puts his hand on Jake's shoulder. “Let’s just look for the other codes,” the younger boy suggests. However, the only response that he reserved was Jake shoving his hand off and him walking off. Sighing, Jungwon closed his eyes, shaking his head, before walking over to Sunoo, who had been watching the two of them.

Jungwon placed his hand on the glass, looking up at the boy. “Just hang tight. We’re going to get you out of there.”

Sunoo nods with a small smile before watching as Jungwon walks away before looking over at you. You had found another cabinet and were searching through the bottom drawer, but tears kept obstructing your vision, causing you to let out a few curses while wiping them away. Sunoo watched with sorrow as your shoulders shook, his heart hurting seeing you so broken.

“Y/n.” He called out your name, causing you to stop what you were doing, and turned to look at him, wiping some of the tears from your face. Standing to your feet, you made your way over to the blonde, who offered you a sad smile. “Don’t let what he said get to you, okay? Emotions are so high right now I’m sure he didn’t mean it.” 

You knew that he was probably right. All of you were trapped in such a stressful situation that it was not that much of a surprise that someone snapped. You nodded softly, wiping more of the tears off of your cheeks before a small smile pulled on the corner of your lips, which made Sunoo’s heart swell.

However, your smile quickly dropped when you realized that the water had already traveled up to his knees. Panic started to etch itself into your bones once more as you placed your hand on the glass, Sunoo mimicking your movements.

“We’ll get you out soon, I promise.” Your voice cracked slightly, causing Sunoo’s heart to lurch. He smiled, trying his best to reassure you, but the smile didn’t quite meet his eyes.

Deep down Sunoo had a small feeling that this was going to be his last twenty minutes on earth. Something was telling him that they weren’t going to find all of the keys on time, that he was going to end up taking his last breath.  He started to think back to everything that led up to now, how he spent the last year pining over someone who would just be right out of his reach. How he had made plans with Riki and Jungwon to go on a road trip this summer, but now they would have to take the trip without him. He thought back to when he first met Riki, which is funny in itself because he was at the store looking for a game that Jungwon sent him out to get, accidentally running into Riki, literally. The boy was in such a rush to get back home before his favorite show started that he hadn't seen Riki standing there. Riki, who had just as surprised as Sunoo offered him a hand up and teased him for being in such a rush before asking what he was looking for.

“Some new game my roommate sent me to grab,” Sunoo rolled his eyes, “not even sure why I agreed to.” Riki couldn’t help but laugh, but he had helped Sunoo find that game before exchanging numbers because of a show they both liked.

Tears started to prick at Sunoo’s eyes as he wondered what he did to deserve this? What have any of you done to deserve this? It was something that he was sure that he would wonder even after he was laid to rest.

Jake glanced over his shoulder, seeing that everyone else was distracted, his fingers wrapping around the box nearest to him. Sunoo caught him from the corner of his eye, eyebrows furrowed together as he watched the older male stuff something in his pocket and set the box back down just as you turned around.

Eyes narrowing slightly, you looked Jake up and down. "What are you doing?” Your voice caught Jake’s attention, causing him to turn to look at you. "Did you find another code?”

Jake shakes his head, pulling his hand from his pocket to point at the box that he just had in his hand. “I was just checking to see if there was anything on the bottom.” His voice is steady as he meets your gaze. Something about the gleam in his eyes leaves a bad taste in your mouth. However, against your better judgment, you decide not to question him, though you do look at him with a scrutinizing gaze.

“So, was there anything?” Your tone held a bit of sas that caused the male to bite his tongue, trying his best to not lash out once more; more than enough damage had already been done.

So he just shook his head, “No, there’s nothing.”

With a curt nod, you turned back around to continue your search for the missing codes. Sunoo glanced at you for a moment before looking over at Jake, who opened a drawer that he was sure he had already looked through a few times. Alarms started going off in the blonde’s head, something telling him that something was very, very wrong, but he didn’t want to just assume anything.

The feeling of eyes on him caused Jake to turn his head, meeting Sunoo’s gaze. He raised an eyebrow, questioning the blonde silently, who just gave him a tight-lipped smile and turned away, but not before catching a glimpse of what looked to be a knife in the older male’s jacket pocket.

A shiver runs throughout Sunoo’s entire body as he looks elsewhere in the room, unsure if it was due to what he had just seen or if it was the cold water that was soaking his clothes little by little. His heart beat loudly in his ears as he tried to think why Jake would have a knife. Surely, the person behind all of this would have taken any kind of weapon that they had on them, and if he had found it in the room, why hadn’t he said anything? Sunoo had gotten so lost that he hadn’t even noticed Jungwon leap to his feet, holding up a piece of paper.

“I found another one!” He exclaimed before making a beeline for the boxes; you were hot on his heels.

Jungwon grabbed one of the boxes just as you stood by his side, arms brushing against each other as you watched him intently. However, at the sight of you standing so close to the younger boy, Jake's lip twitched, a glare adorning his features, all of which didn’t go unnoticed by Sunoo.

Before he could speak aloud, Jungwon threw the box open, grabbing the key out and showing you with a wide smile on his face. You guys were one step closer to getting Sunoo out of there. But then all of the excitement died down when he looked over to show Sunoo the key and saw that the water was mid-chest on the older male.

Panic starts to cloud your mind, causing you to look around the room frantically, yelling at the other two boys to pick it up and keep looking. Jake walked over to a bookshelf that was off to Sunoo’s right while Jungwon walked over to another cabinet.

Jungwon mumbled something akin to promises of finding the last one, his ears ringing so loudly that it’d be a miracle if he heard anything else. You practically threw out of the shelf that you had been looking through, flipping through the pages of the books. Tears involuntarily brimming in your eyes once more, but you bite the inside of your cheek to keep yourself from letting them fall.

Jake licked his lips, his eyes flickering over to you before he shoved his hand into the pocket of his jacket. Clearing his throat, he called out to you and Jungwon, a sense of urgency in his tone causing all of your attention to shift over to him. He held up the crinkled paper, causing your eyes to light up before rushing over to him.

You stood next to Jake, staring over his shoulder urging him to open the box already while Jungwon walked over to Sunoo with a bright smile on his lips.

“We’re getting you out of there, Sun.” Jungwon felt tears of relief fill his eyes, but Sunoo would only offer him a smile, a gut feeling telling him that something was wrong.

Jake opens the box with a flourish, but his eyes grow wide at the sight of an empty box. Looking over, he watches as fear and panic morph into your face once more. You snatch the box out of Jake’s hands, causing him to recoil back slightly, his eyes widening.

Your panic-stricken eyes looked into the box, seeing that the key was, in fact, not in there, “Son of a bitch!” You shouted, throwing the box to the ground, the metal crashing into the ground, causing the sound to reverberate all around the room.

With tears streaming down your face, you search the room for anything that could break the last lock. All your attempts proved to be futile; nothing was quite strong enough to even begin to crack the lock. 

“Fuck!” All of the anger and frustration started to bubble in your chest, a stream of tears falling from your eyes. Jungwon looked up from his spot on the ground next to Sunoo, lock in hand trying to see if he could pick it.

In the heat of the moment, she grabbed one of the chairs that sat at the desk before swinging as hard as she could, hitting the glass and causing all three boys to jump at the sudden sound. Jungwon shields his head when you go to swing the chair once more, but Jake grabs your arm, causing you to glare at him.

“There’s no point.” His voice was flat, causing your heart to sink. Had he really already accepted Sunoo’s fate?

“How would you know?” You seethed, yanking your arm free from his grasp just as Jungwon stood from the ground.

“And why are you just standing there doing nothing?” Jungwon pointed at Jake, who just slapped his hand out of the way, a glare of his own covering his face.

“Because there’s nothing we can do; what about that, do you not get?” Jake growled, looking between you and Jungwon.

Before you could open your mouth, Sunoo butts in, “Y/n, he’s right, time’s alm-”

“No, there’s a way. I’ll find a way, dammit.” You hissed through your teeth, tears sticking to your eyelashes. You refused to hear anything else as you continued your search for anything that could get the lock undone.

Sunoo sighed, closing his eyes for a moment before opening them once more to look at you. It pained him so much to see you trying so hard to save him, and it broke his soul to know that he was about to cause a lot of pain—not just to you but to all of your other friends.

“Y/n.” He called out to you, but you shook your head not giving him your attention. Letting out a sigh, he placed his hand against the glass, the water merely inches away from his neck. “Y/n, look at me, please.” This time you look over at him, tears streaming down your flushed face, eyes bloodshot, “there’s no time.” 

A sob tore through your lungs, a sound that Sunoo never wanted to hear, let alone be the cause of. Tears of his own stung at the corner of his eyes as he watched Jungwon grab your frail body, pulling you into his chest. He didn’t want his last few moments alive seeing that heartbreaking expression on your face, so he offered a small smile when you finally looked up to meet his gaze.

“Do you remember that new cafe we wanted to go to?” Sunoo’s voice was soft, only causing your heart to hurt more because you knew what he was starting to get at.

But you still nodded, “yeah, you always talked about the paw print design on the cups.”

Sunoo couldn’t help but chuckle because he knew she was right. Ever since the cafe released their cup designs, Sunoo couldn’t shut up about how cute they were and how he wanted one to use at home.

“Go and try it out for me, ya?” He asked, a teary smile on his lips as he watched you choke back a sob but still nodded, telling him that you would. Your hands balled Jungwon’s shirt into a fist as sobs continued to rack through your body.

Jungwon tightened his grip around your waist, letting you cry into his shoulder as he bit the inside of his cheek to keep his own tears at bay. However, it proved to be a lot harder than he thought when Sunoo looked in his direction.

“Hey, Won.” Sunoo smiled, his bottom lip trembling, “go ahead and do me a favor, ya?”

Jungwon’s hand tightened against your hip, “of course, Sun.”

“Stop being so reckless all of the time; you’re gonna get yourself hurt one day.” Sunoo mused, and Jungwon couldn’t help but let out a small laugh as his tears finally broke free. “Oh, and get that game you’ve been going crazy over, okay?”

The younger boy swallowed thickly, trying to keep from entirely breaking down. “I will, Sun, I promise.” His voice shook, and his vision became blurry as more tears flowed from his eyes.

Sunoo offered Jungwon one last smile before looking over at Jake, his heart feeling heavy. The last thing he needed to do was throw around accusations, but he hoped that a few words of warning to Jungwon would suffice if anything were to happen. However, the questioning look on the older male’s face made his stomach turn. 

Swallowing thickly, he gestured to you and Jungwon, “Make sure they make it out alive, okay?”

Jake poked the inside of his cheek before nodding, reassuring him that he would. Seconds later, the water completely submerged Sunoo. He held his breath as he looked at the three of you once more before fully accepting his fate.

Choked sobs tore through your body as you watched in horror as Sunoo’s body fought to get air, bubbles surrounding his head until they slowly diminished into nothing, and his body sank to the bottom of the container. His eyes closed, and if he hadn’t been in the water, you would have thought he was just sleeping.

Jungwon’s grip slipped from your body, allowing you to drop to the ground, eyes never leaving Sunoo’s body. Sobs no longer fell from your lips, but tears continued to silently fall from your eyes.

The younger boy just stood there, arms hung by his sides as he stared at the body of his best friend, waiting to wake up from this sick and twisted nightmare. Wanting to wake up already to walk into the living room to see the blonde perched on the couch with a bowl of cereal while watching whatever drama show was on that morning. However, no matter how many times he pinches himself he doesn’t seem to be waking up. With every pinch, the reality of everything sank in, and all he could do was cry.

Jake stood off to the side, his eyes staring at the blonde’s body. His expression was unreadable, but his jaw was taught. 

Both boys looked at the TV screen when the buzzer alarmed them. Jake quickly looked away, his hands stuffed deep in his jacket pockets.

“Fuck you, you sick sons of bitches.” Jungwon cursed, wiping the tears from his face with a scoff as he read the words they had displayed with little animated fish swimming around.

‘GAME OVER – BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME!!’

Their attention was then pulled to the door. When the sound of the lock turning was heard, Jake made his way over to it. Pulling his hands from his packets, he reached for the doorknob before pulling it open, peeking out, and then looking back at Jungwon, whose eyes were already on him.

“We better go find the others.” His voice was merely above a whisper, and his eyes shifted away from the boy down to you. The shock had completely rendered your body motionless, but your eyes were still glued to where Sunoo lay at the bottom of the tank.

One of your friends was gone, Sunoo was dead.

Not a word was uttered as Jay, Sunghoon, and Riki walked down the dimly lit hallway. Each in their own world, they were still trying to come to terms with what they had just witnessed. Jay led the way while Sunghoon trailed along in the back, eyes devoid of any emotion save for sorrow. Then, Riki walked between the two.

Jay then sees a door at the end of the hall, light shining through the cracks. He mutters a quick ‘come on’ before walking towards the door. Waiting just a second, he tried to see if he could hear anything, but no sound came through the thick wooden door. Glancing behind him for a second, Riki just gave him a slight nod while Sunghoon remained stoic.

On the other side of the door, Jungwon shot to his feet when he heard the sound of the door knob turning; his nerves completely shot. However, as soon as Jay’s face came into view he could feel his body significantly relax. He couldn’t help the small smile that tugged on his lips, seeing that their other friends were fine, at least he thought they were until he realized that something was severely wrong. Looking around, he noticed that another of their friends was missing, nowhere to be seen, and he could feel his heart drop to the pit of his stomach.

“Where’s Heeseung?” Jungwon’s words caught your attention, causing you to look over before standing to your feet when you didn’t see the older male anywhere. Sunghoon looked away, his lip tucked between his teeth, avoiding your and Jungwon’s gazes. 

With a few quick strides, you walked over to Jay, grabbing his forearms. Jay bit the inside of his cheek at the sight of your bloodshot eyes, knowing that you had already been crying long before they even made it into the room. 

Terror filled your veins as you tried to convince yourself that he was fine, that he was just lagging behind the rest of them, that he would walk through that door any second and tease her for crying over him. However, seeing the heartbreak on Sunghoon’s face left your heart beating in your ears as you swallowed thickly before asking the dreaded question.

“Jay, where’s Heeseung?” Your bottom lip trembled as you fought back tears, shifting your gaze over to your brother, who just closed his eyes and shook his head.

“I’m sorry.” Jay’s voice came out hoarse, and your eyes went wide, your heart shattering, “he’s gone.” 

You shake your head, releasing Jay’s arms before taking a step back, “No, no, no, NO!” You cried out, hands in your hair as you dropped to the ground. Sobs tore through your exhausted lungs, causing them to come out choked as tears flooded from your eyes before dropping to the hardwood floor.

Your cries echoed all over the room, etching itself into each of the boy’s bones. Jay tilted his head up towards the ceiling to keep the tears at bay while Sunghoon bit his lip, wishing he’d never have to hear something as devastating as this ever again.

All of your memories of Heeseung came crashing into you all at once, causing your screams to increase in agony. Your vision was completely obscured by the tears as you covered your ears to try and drown out the ringing, but it was no use. Your breathing then started to hitch, causing alarm amongst the rest.

Jay was the first to move towards you but was quickly intervened by Riki, who pushed him away, a hard look in his eye as he bent down to grab you.

“I’ve got her.” The boy’s tone was harsh, causing Jay to take a small step back, knowing now wouldn’t be the best time for an argument to break out.

So he watched as Riki helped you to your feet before leading you to the couch. Then he looked around the room, seeing that a certain blonde was nowhere to be seen either. Eyebrows scrunched together, he looked over at Jungwon, ready to ask where Sunoo was, but the younger boy just shook his head, a solemn look gracing his features.

“Fucking hell.” Jay cursed, running his fingers through his hair and walking off to the side of the room. How could they lose two people within the span of just an hour? How many more of them were going to have to die before they managed to get out of this hell hole?

~

After a short while, you had finally calmed down a little bit. Now, you were leaning against your brother, silent tears still falling down your cheeks. No one had said a word, not sure what to say or too lost in their own minds to even bother speaking.

Riki moved slightly, lifting his head to look at the others. " We should take this chance to look around, do you think?” His words caught Jay’s attention, causing the older male to look over at him. “I mean, the doors are still unlocked, so shouldn’t we look for a way out or clues at least?”

Jay nods his head before pushing himself to his feet, followed by Jake and Jungwon. However, neither you nor Sunghoon showed any kind of response. Jay lets out a sigh, walking over to the dark-haired male and placing his hand on his shoulder. Sunghoon still shows no response even after Jay tells him to come on, and neither do you, your eyes still glued to the same spot on the ground.

He was trying to be patient with the two of you, but his patience had already been worn to the max, and there wasn’t much left that he could spare before snapping. So he pinches the bridge of his nose before giving the both of you a stern look.

“Do you really think this is what Hee or Sunoo would have wanted?” Jay’s voice was hard, but all you could do was scoff before glaring up at him.

“The last time we snooped around, two of our friends died, so I’m sorry if I don’t wanna run that risk again.” You hissed, standing on your feet. The last thing you wanted to do was witness another one of your friends dying, already experiencing enough heartbreak to last ten lifetimes.

Jay returned your glare with one of his own, “If we stay here, one or even all of us are bound to die.” He gestured to the others around the two of you, “I would much rather die trying to get free rather than sit here and wait for death because, guess what? That would mean that our friends' deaths were in vain.” Jay’s words struck a cord deep within your soul causing you to flinch while Sunghoon inhaled deeply before nodding his head.

“Jay’s right,” He walked over to stand next to Jay, looking down at you, a mixture of emotions swirling in his iris’, “I don’t know about you, y/n, but I’m about to sit around and let Hee’s death be for nothing,”

Your glare shifted from Jay to the taller male next to him, the feeling of uncertainty coming back. How could you trust him after finding his bracelet? After Heeseung died when he was with him? So many emotions were stored away in your body that you weren’t even sure what to feel, but you did know that anger was the strongest. Your hands clenched at your sides before stepping away from the couch and closer to Sunghoon.

“I swear to god, if I find out that you’re the one behind all of this. I will personally kill you myself.” You seethed before making your way towards the door and ripping it open. Riki was hot on your heels when you stormed out of the room.

Jake watched from the back, his eyes darting between everyone who stood in the room with him, a smirk tugging on the corner of his lips when he saw Sunghoon’s face fall. However, the expression didn’t go unnoticed by Jungwon, who just happened to glance at the older boy. Sensing someone’s gaze, Jake looked over, meeting Jungwon’s, a gleam in his eyes daring the younger boy to say something. Swallowing thickly Jungwon tore his gaze away from Jake before making his way towards the door, looking back at the other.

“Come on, let’s find a way outta here.” His voice was full of uncertainty but he just tried his best to ignore the red flags and focus on getting out for right now. Jay’s tongue darted out to wet his lips before he nodded and followed Jungwon out of the door, Sunghoon right behind him. Jake was the last out of the room, walking out with his hands stuffed deep in the pockets of his jacket, a smug gleam in his eyes when Jungwon looked back knowing that he had the boy right in the palm of his hand. Jake knew that Jungwon didn’t have the guts to say anything to the rest of the group, not as long as Jake was nearby, and with that information, Jake couldn’t help but feel a thrill of excitement.

It had felt like the six of you had been walking down the dimly lit hallways for hours, and not a single clue or exit was to be found. However, what you did find were cobwebs and roaches, causing a shiver to run down your spine. Looking around, it wasn’t hard to tell that this was a more run-down part of whatever building you were stuck in, most likely the basement.

The air around you was thick with tension, and it was weighing on each of you. However, no one had the guts to break it—at least not until Jungwon saw a broken clock off to the side.

“I wonder how long we’ve been stuck here…” He questions out loud, not to anyone in particular, but Jake glances around.

“Probably most, if not all, of the night,” Jake murmurs as he cringes when another roach scurries in front of his feet. Everything then goes silent once more, much to Jungwon’s dismay.

Before too long they make it to the end of the hallway, dread filling your senses when you saw that it forked off into two separate directions. All of you stop before turning to face one another to come up with a game plan.

“Wouldn’t it be easier to just split up?” Riki suggests from his spot beside you, but you are quick to shake your head, refusing the idea.

“No, we’re not splitting up.” Fear laced your tone causing both Jay and Jungwon to look over at you while Sunghoon nodded his head in agreement.

“I second that; every time we’ve been split up, something bad happens.” Sunghoon explained eyebrows furrowed as he looked between each of you.

Jake, however, steps forward, glancing between you and Sunghoon. " It’ll just take more time if we all stay together.” Riki and Jay nod, knowing that he was right; they would cover more ground if you were to split up.

You start to protest, but Jay turns towards you, cupping your face in his palms, and you look up at him with worry-filled eyes.

“Y/n, love, listen to me.” His voice was soft as he spoke to you, tears involuntarily filling his eyes. “We can split up into two groups and meet back here in thirty minutes. That way, we can cover as much ground as possible in a shorter amount of time.”

You bit your bottom lip to keep the tears that had pooled on your waterline at bay before saying okay. Jay then gives you a soft smile before leaning forward to place a gentle kiss on your forehead. Neither of you caught the look of anger and disgust that flashed across Jake’s face. However, Jungwon once again caught it, causing a chill to run down his spine, worried about what kind of thoughts were running through the older male’s head.

He opens his mouth to voice his concerns, but Jake once more cuts him off before he can get a single word out, “I’ll go with Sunghoon and Jungwon. You take y/n and Jay.”

Jungwon couldn’t help but feel his heart drop, a sense of dread washing over his body, soaking into his bones. More so when everyone agrees to the teams, blissfully unaware of what was happening. Swallowing the lump in his throat Jungwon makes his way over to you, grabbing your hand in his. 

The feeling of paper on your palm made you open your mouth to question the boy, but the look in his eyes told you not to say a word, so you didn’t. He then offers you a small smile before telling you to be safe. You closed your fingers around the paper when he moved his hand away before returning his sentiment and going to stand next to Jay, who had been watching quietly. 

“Alright, we’ll meet back here in thirty. Be safe, all of you.” Jay spoke, pointing to each of the boys on the opposite side of the hall.

Sunghoon nodded, looking over at Jake, then shifted his gaze to Jungwon before meeting Jay's once more, “We will, but the same goes for the three of you.”

With that, the six of you split up once more, walking down opposite sides of the hall, the promise of meeting back in thirty minutes hanging in the air.

Jay notices you uneasy and reaches down to intertwine his fingers with yours, catching your attention. "We’re gonna get out of here, and we’ll be okay,” he whispers softly before pressing a soft kiss on your knuckles.

~

When the three of you made it to an open door, you peeked inside, seeing zero signs of any kind of life, which you weren’t sure you should feel happy or creeped out by. However, when you got inside, you suggested splitting up to look through the shelves and cabinets, to which both boys agreed.

Once you were off to the side of the room and made sure that neither Jay nor Riki were looking you slipped the paper out of your pocket, unfolding it. Your eyes blew wide open as you read the words that Jungwon had hurriedly scribbled on the page.

‘There’s something up with Jake; he’s acting weird, and Sunoo told me that he had seen a knife in his pocket.’

Quickly covering your mouth to muffle the gasp that fell from your lips, you looked up and over to say something to the guys, but then the lights went out, leaving the room pitch black.

You jumped at the sudden change, panic flooding into your mind. Reaching around you, you tried to find some kind of table to stabilize yourself.

“Jay? Riki? Where are you guys?” You called out, fingers gripping the edge of whatever you had grabbed, sure that your knuckles were a ghostly shade of white.

“Y/n? Where are you?” You heard Jay’s voice, and you felt your shoulders relax a bit. You moved to follow where the sound of his voice came from: “Here, follow my voice.”

Then it dawned on you that you never received a response from your brother, causing your heart to start hammering under your ribs.

“Riki, where are you?” you called out again, using your hands to maneuver the space around you. However, just like before, there was no sign of your brother. “Riki now is not the time for one of your little pranks. Where the hell are you?”

Jay had made his way over to you, grabbing your arm softly and causing your body to jolt. "It’s just me.”

You frantically turned your head, trying to see anything in the pitch-dark room. " Do you know where Riki is?” Fear started to wash over you, and you were scared that something had happened to your little brother.

Before Jay could even get the chance to say anything, the lights flashed back on, momentarily blinding the both of you.

Blinking a few times, you let your eyes adjust to the new lighting before you turned your body in every direction, seeing absolutely no sign of your brother. Not only that but the door had been closed and more than likely locked, causing your breath to hitch in your throat as you looked over at Jay with wide, fear-stricken eyes.

“Where’s Riki?” Your voice shook as you frantically looked around the room for any sign of the younger boy; it felt like all of the air was being stolen from your lungs as you ran your fingers through your hair, “Where the fuck is my brother?”

Riki was gone, and you were trapped in yet another room…

@wwooyology | Do not steal, plagiarise, translate, or repost any of my work

𝖉𝖎𝖘𝖈𝖑𝖆𝖎𝖒𝖊𝖗 : ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ɴᴏ ᴡᴀʏ ᴀ ᴛʀᴜᴇ ʀᴇᴘʀᴇꜱᴇɴᴛᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴏꜰ ᴀɴʏ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀꜱ. ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ᴘᴜʀᴇʟʏ ꜰɪᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ᴀɴᴅ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏᴍᴇɴᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴛᴀᴋᴇɴ ꜱᴇʀɪᴏᴜꜱʟʏ.

[isuzuie]

remaining tenderness

cw ﾉ slight suggestiveness. petname: my lambkin (/ω＼) part one of my vamp!blade miniseries :3c (and the third repost akajdhdsf i hope this appears in the tags! T_T)

the thing about love is that you can find it on the most unlikely places and situations possible.

“are you comfortable?” love asks, his touch light as cotton on your waist, betraying the ever-present dour and morose look on his face.

(though you have begun to notice the way it softens ever so slightly in your presence.)

“very,” your reply is followed by a smile, blithe and bright and holding all the sweet wonders of the world, “thank you, blade.”

as the both of you—lone, worn souls slowly stripping away the tough bark that encased your hearts—lay together atop the silky-smooth sheets of his bed, you're brought back to the times when love wasn't as... loving.

when he first found you, his tugs were harsh and his teeth were bared, ready to ravage and devour.

“stay still.” the beast growls, holding you still with a searing touch; not the kind that brings comfort, but one that strives to destroy and ruin. it leaves a burning sensation on your skin, yet it is clear to you that escape sounds more like a faraway dream.

and so, you allowed him a bite. then it's doubled, tripled, until dew and clouds shroud your vision and the last thing you see is a leather-gloved hand prepared to catch your limping self.

afterwards, he took you in—unwilling to let go of such fine livestock as a source of energy. no other reason. nothing more, nothing less.

at least, that was what the beast told you a few moons ago.

“are you not going to sleep?”

love’s voice snaps you back to reality, where the homely view of his intricately carved ceiling and candelabras that line his desk greets you.

the phrase ‘home is where the heart is’ has never been truer until now, for you haven’t felt this strongly about any house you’ve resided in before.

and neither does any creature, human or not, have ever understood, touched, loved you as well as he does.

no one has ever paid attention to which vegetables you’d carefully remove from your plate, nor does anyone know the amount of milk you fancy in your tea.

those pair of rubies that are able to easily send fear running everyone’s spine are the same ones to watch over and guard you when you're asleep, and those two hands he use to maim and kill are the same ones to cradle your round face as he claims your lips between his, seeking your warmth and stealing your breath until your legs no longer can prop you up and he has to carry you back to bed to continue where he left off...

soon, you realize this: love reserves the gentlest bits of his marred soul for you. it may be hard to notice, with the way his display of affection lacks all the razzle-dazzle of the world, quiet and silent, but all the more beautiful in its own enchanting way.

even now, the concern swirling ‘round and about his crimson irises are more than enough proof of the fondness he holds for you.

“i just want to stay awake a little longer,” your voice came out groggy, laced with exhaustion you refuse to acknowledge.

there’s a faint crease forms in love’s forehead, a sign of his confusion at another one of human's strange affinity for destroying their own health, “you should go to sleep. i will be here when you wake up.”

that is a promise he swore to keep no matter the feebleness, and you understand him well enough to know that he would never speak a single lie to your face, and yet—

“but then i won't be able to look at you...”

love falls silent.

this is another rare case where he’s found himself flustered-shriveled organ now thrumming furiously behind the his ribcage, roses growing and spreading wildly to block his windpipe, sending his mind reeling with joy (at the simple notion that you cannot go a few hours without seeing him), excitement (for it feels like nothing short of a dream, having someone cares for him this much), and multitudes of other emotions pushing past the seams of his heart.

it's a sensation so alive, nourishing in its simplicity and peculiarly beautiful.

(just like you, he thinks.)

“...if fate allows it, i might be able to visit you in your dream.” love replies, ignoring the inanity of your words and instead opting to play along, his hand reaching for the quilt you’ve pushed away to tuck you in once more.

the edge of your lips curl up to form a tiny, lazy smile, amused by his willingness to entertain you, “you will?”

“yes.” i would pluck out every star in the night sky to create a perfect dreamscape for you, even—he wants to say, then seal it with a kiss so deep and dizzying that you’ll drift off to sleep immediately. but that's a trick for another time...

for now, love is content with having you near him like this; hair splayed across his lap, your index coiling around his pinky like a little baby as you finally begin to doze off.

and a smile that can no longer be bitten back now blooms across his face, accompanied by a huffed laugh as he plants a brief kiss over the crown of your hair (so you may be blessed with the sweetest of dreams—hopefully, one with him in it), and whispers in a bedroom-soft voice:

“good night, my lambkin.”

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

book 7 part 5 thoughts!!

***THIS POST CONTAINS MASSIVE SPOILERS FOR BOOK 7 PART 5 OF THE MAIN STORY!!***

If you’d like to watch a rough part-by-part summarized translation, please check out this archived stream!

Please note: this is NOT meant to be a summary or a translation; these are only my initial thoughts on the events that unfold. There may be details overlooked or misunderstood in this post, so PLEASE do not use this as a translation.

Starting off strong with some lore on magic! Teleportation magic involves breaking oneself down and reconstructing elsewhere. If the distance from point A to point B is too large and/or the caster is in poor health, the magic may fail or be difficult to perform.

Hmmm... Lilia is reacting very emotionally to the situation, but it is Baul that is (mostly) rational and reminding Lilia to keep calm. I'd anticipate it being the other way around, so that's quite interesting.

HUH... Even Sebek is staying calmer here than Lilia is; Sebek recalls training with Lilia and how they were taught that they have to stay calm to think and plan effectively in tough situations. Ironic that the old Lilia was the type to go against the advice he would later give and instill in his pupils. Again, it goes to show how much he has changed since then.

AH, BAUL'S BEING A TSUNDERE AGAIN 🤡 He's telling the kids to stay behind because the situation has changed... "Don't foolishly discard the life Lilia-sama protected", "humans shouldn't be fighting alongside fae anyway", etc. (And, of course, Silver's the one to step up and tell him fae or human, it doesn't matter and he still owes Lilia his life all the time.) NOW'S NOT THE TIME TO TALK, GUYS... MALLEMOM'S GONNA BE GAME ENDED

Weird sounds downstairs? SILBEK KICK DOWN THE DOOR and we find some chefs in hiding. adhbasvfvuvfqeilfe;o THEY MISTAKE SILVER FOR THE DAWN KNIGHT... More sussy behavior implying the Dawn Knight must be his ancestor.

They ask for brooms to transport the injured faster. Silver's negotiation skills come in clutch again, he convinces the chefs to direct them to the brooms even though it would be helping the fae, the humans' enemies.

Not Sebek's stomach growling now of all times... NOT SEBEK DENYING IT SO MUCH (it's okay, they get pity and some food from the chefs!)

Found a room full of birds; they seem to be for transporting messages. Silver feeds them some of the bread they got from the chefs. Wow, Sebek's actually being sneaky/clever (?). He tells Silver he's loved by animals, so time to use that now so they can use the birds.

AKHBBGSKUVYEQFBI NOT GRIM WANTING TO EAT THE BIRDS

Bleh, we have another time-gated, character-limited map segment. Silver and Sebek take up 2 of the 5 slots. Again, the cards' health does not regenerate unless you land on a special square. Luckily for us, there is only a single path forward rather than a larger, sprawling map.

NO KIDDING, THE BIRDS HELP THEM FIGHT THE SILVER OWLS... Literally they're swooping in and tugging on the knights' cape and stuff... the squirrels nibbled away at their catapults' rope too... chucking rocks at them... THE BIRDS POOPED ON THEIR ARMOR TOO???????? Imagine training your whole life to put your life on the line for your home country, only to be literally shat on and defeated by woodland creatures...

Lilia: I hate children. Also Lilia: *rushes into battle to protect the children and gives them head pats for a job well done and asks them to be safe*

Silver continues to be a Disney princess!! They find some horses tied up and he's like "let's free them". Sebek drops some club lore; Silver is one of the better students in Equestrian Club when it comes to soothing the horses. True Horse Girl at heart, huh??

Silver and Sebek are surprised that what they learned in school is actually helping the in a "real world" sense. Man, I wish that was true of irl high school education too...

The Silver Owls recruited mercenaries from other countries to help them seize Briar Country's resources??? The others pitch in because they live in fear of a dragon attacking them.

They're going to teleport into the castle, but they can't teleport out since they can't guarantee the safety of Tamago-sama... They're going to use the underground waterways to escape!

There's a mountain range that protects another castle of the royal family, Black Scale Castle. Malleus's mom is currently in an unprotected castle, Wild Rose.

Wow, what a peaceful vista straight out of Sleeping Beauty. I sure hope it doesn't become tainted by blood being spilt and bodies dropping or anything craaazy like that/j

DAWN KNIGHT INCOMING???? Silver's ring starts??? Going off??? When he sees the Dawn Knight...

Heinrich reveal too! He seems like just as much of a scumbag as all the rumors say he is (he wants a dragon to ride, tells the Dawn Knight he's only good for his swordsmenship, etc). BRO JUST STRAIGHT UP SAYS HE WANTS TO TAKE MALLEMOM'S EGG AND RAISE IT TO BE HIS STEED... 💀 WTF THAT'S SO DARK

This asshole reminds me of Jack Horner from Puss in Boots 2: The Last Wish, who is another irredeemably evil man with a small face and a generally grotesque design.

Heinrich is after the castle and some very powerful magestone called "Princess's Glow"? Not sure, did not hear the second word well.

He's giving them 30 minutes to send the princess out for a one-on-one duel with the Dawn Knight. If she wins, they'll retreat (I DON'T BELIEVE THAT FOR ONE SECOND).

NOT THE CASUAL FAE RACISM... Heinrich calls Mallemom a "witch". If you'll remember!! In book 6, Lilia says that mages were once called witches, but implied that those terms are now outdated and considered derogatory.

The Dawn Knight is like Silver! He tries to tell Heinrich this isn't right, but Heinrich tells him that since his father took the Dawn Knight in as an orphan, the Dawn knight "owes" them. It's a twisted parallel to Silver and Lilia's relationship (because Silver says he feels like he "owes" Lilia and has to repay him).

Okay, so to review the family tree??? The king of the human faction is sick and they want the Princess's Glow to heal him. The king is the dad of Heinrich and Leah; the king would also later take in the Dawn Knight. Leah and the Dawn Knight are in love.

Malleus's mom's official name is "Meleanor" (a location name is written in English with this)i. The castle's halls really resemble those in Diasomnia dorm (I think it's a reused asset). (Now that I think about it??? Didn't they also reuse the VDC backstage background for the eastern fortress?)

SHE'S SINGING???????? A lullaby for her baby, it seems. Bruh... Malleus sang like a line from this lullaby before he game-ended everyone with his UM... HE REMEMBERED HER SONG FROM INSIDE THE EGG SHELL??????????

MALLEMOM REVEAL AW YEAH (she starts zapping Lilia with lightning lol; she's mad at Lilia for showing up late to defend her and her egg) SHE'S THE HOT GOTH GF

OMG EGG REVEAL TOO... UNBORN MALLEUS... (The egg looks like it has blot running down it too, which is insane)

ADBLIsfiablfa IT'S SO WEIRD SEEING HER SIMP ON MAIN, she says he knows her unborn child will grow up to be a beautiful man just like her husband... (Sebek is practically sobbing from happiness that he gets to witness Meleanor name Malleus.)

The ear shape is really coming back to bite them; Mallemom noticed them and now her anger is turning to our group. She forces us to kneel with magic... Jafar energy fr

"Princess Glow" is the green orb in Mallemom's staff!

Lilia tells some embarrassing stories of the princess's tomboyish youth; "And though you always scolded me, you never failed to join me in my mischief" -- Mallemom to Lilia

She agrees to duel the Dawn Knight while the others escape with her child... Now Mallemom and Lilia are fighting because Lilia refuses to follow through with her order.

NOOOOOOO SILVER JUMPED IN TO PROTECT LILIA FROM MALLEMOM'S LIGHTNING 😭 EVEN THOUGH HE KNOWS IT'S A DREAM, HE DOESN'T WANT TO SEE HIS DAD HURT

Lilia trauma time :)) "I can't lose both you (Meleanor) and Raverne (Malleus's dad)".

IT'S LIKE WE THEORIZED, LADS. Mallemom says that if anything happens to her, then it's up to Lilia to help Malleus hatch with the POWER OF TRUE LOVE... BUT LILIA THINKS HE CAN'T HATCH IT BECAUSE HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND A PARENT'S LOVE

OH MY GOOOOOOD THE PIPING HOT TEA, MELEANOR SAID LILIA PROPOSED TO HER WHEN THEY WERE YOUNG... OVER 200 YEARS AGO

sdhbfbiyoaifofi Mallemom says that Lilia "also loves Raverne" and that those two spent more time together than a "married couple". You could interpret this as Lilia being bisexual or just as them being really good friends, as Meleanor never specifies if Lilia “loves” Raverne romantically.

Suddenly, Lilia's special card name makes sense! Lilia is the "Right General", and Raverne is the "Left General".

The weather shifted according to Meleanor's anger. Like mother, like son... This woman also quotes Maleficent so much...

OOOOH we get to watch a battle between Mallemom (dragon form) vs the Dawn Knight. Mallemom uses all null/cosmic magic, just like Dorm Uniform Malleus. The Dawn Knight uses light type null/cosmic magic just like Silver does too!

Dawn Knight face reveal?! He's basically Silver copy-pasted but long blonde hair. Dude's really out here looking like a Sonic OC recolor/j

The Dawn Knight also has a crown-like ring on a chain. It's an item that was given to him by guardian fairies when he was young; there is no other like it.

YASASHII... The Dawn Knight notices our group has the egg and tells them to run. He doesn't want Heinrich to get his hands on it either... Crowley, takes notes 😭

UHHHHH SILVER'S CRYING AND SHOUTING... I think he realized that he's descended from the Dawn Knight, serving on the faction that's brought so much harm to his loved ones and home country. "Am I family to the enemy?!" His denseness is truly to his detriment here.

Uh-oh, Silver's being pulled into the "darkness" of the dream, thinking it would be better to just stay here than face reality... He's losing hope, DOING THE THING HE FORESHADOWED LAST UPDATE... IF HE EVER FALLS INTO THE DARKNESS, THEN PLEASE PULL HIM OUT... (Another map segment with Silver required; you have to find your way around in the dark.)

NOOOOO NOT SILVER SEEING HIMSELF AS THE DAWN KNIGHT THAT HIS DAD'S STRIKING DOWN IN VENGENCE OTL WHAT IS THIS, IT'S SO SICK AND TWISTED

400 years after conflict, the peace treaty was signed between fae and humans. Wild Rose Castle is now left in ruins; the rumors say it is haunted. The diurnal fae casted a spell on Wild Rose to keep humans away.

HUH???? LILIA FOUND BABY SILVER IN THE ABANDONED WILD ROSE CASTLE?????

Uhhh so apparently after the war we saw, another conflict broke out for territory and the Silver Owls got their asses handed to them.

LILIA UNIQUE MAGIC REVEAL... HE CAN READ THE MEMORIES OF THINGS HE TOUCHES????? (Reminds me of "Dimensional Scream" from Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of TIme/Darkness/Sky!) "Far Cry Cradle" is the name! We also get the chant: "As if it were a day. Everywhere I go, it will be in a blink of an eye."

BABY SILVER?????

Silver was magically put to sleep for hundreds of years by some small (guardian) fairies?!?!?!?!?!?!? Because conflicts were still going on and his parents wished for him to live in a world free of war. When Silver meets someone who "loves" him, he will wake up from his magic-induced slumber. NOW THE BABY IS AWAKE AND CRYING

... Wait. Doesn't that mean. Silver is technically older than Malleus... since Malleus is only 178 years old and Silver's been sleeping for like 400 years????? OTL SILVER OLD MAN ERA??????

NOT (PAST) LILIA BEING TSUNDERE, he says he thinks the guardian fairies' magic is fading with time... he doesn't even consider that he'd ever love the baby...

"I'm not someone who deserves your love" - Silver, casually cuing all of our tears

Silver's hair was originally blonde; It became silver when he received a fairy's blessing (Lilia's). LILIA SAYS "May the Night bless you" and says that the day he found Silver is his new birthday. So the Dawn Knight has gold hair because it's blessed by a diurnal fae, but with silver hair like moonlight, Silver won't stand out in Briar Valley.

I CAN'T WITH LILIA, SILVER SAYS HE WAS NAMED THAT BECAUSE OF HIS HAIR COLOR IN A BIRTHDAY VIGNETTE... Yet here we see Lilia actually named him Silver as in silver moonlight to guide people in the darkness...

"Even if I have to give up my own life, I want to protect my child", that's a sentiment that both Lilia's princess and the Dawn Knight expressed. I think this kind of thinking probably helped Lilia put everything into perspective and better understand that humans and fae are actually very similar.

SILVER/LILIA HOME REVEAL, we're seeing some point later in time but before present day when Lilia is still raising baby Silver.

Lilia is singing the same lullaby as what Meleanor sang for Malleus in the egg!! Malleus pays them a visit and still doesn't really seem to understand humans (HE SAYS SILVER LIKE A MONKEY????) but also helps watch baby Silver... He even hums his mom's lullaby for Silver, but cannot seem to remember where he heard the song before.

It's so weird thinking about how fae take 30 YEARS TO LEARN HOW TO WALK... What do you do for those 30 years, just lie on your back????? OTL

LILIA READS SILVER BEDTIME STORIES

Oh, Lilia's understanding humans and fae a little better (around the time Silver starts to eat pureed foods). Both human and fae babies cry and sleep, etc. BHFABIYFVQIQEFL hE'S FEEDING SILVER RAT MEAT???????? Malleus has to have the castle prepare baby food for them...

WAHHHHH THAT ACRON BRACELET LILIA TREASURES IS SOMETHING KID!SILVER MADE FOR HIM... Squirrels helped him gather the acorns and woodpeckers helped him string the acorns together. The acorn amulet is meant to bring Lilia a long, healthy, and happy life (something Silver was told by forest fae). Even as a kid... Silver was hoping for Lilia's health... and now that I think about it, the acorn amulet is like a representation of Lilia's own deteriorating health over time... OTL

"I feel like I can live a thousand years with this (amulet)..." LILIA EVEN KEPT IT ALL THIS TIME AND CALLS IT HIS MOST PRECIOUS BELONGING... shUT UP, SHUT UP IM CRYING

ASKHBLIDIBIFIA WE'RE SEEING THE RAINING SCENE LILIA TOLD US ABOUT IN ONE OF HIS BIRTHDAY VIGNETTES???!?!?!?!????!? It's the day Silver realized he and Lilia aren't related by blood...

God, there are so many of the map portions... This time, Sebek is the required character!

The rest of the gang are transported to the darkness where Silver is wallowing?? Sebek sees some of his own memories which intertwin with Silver's (since Baul sometimes took bare of Silver or visited Lilia). It's also confirmed that Lilia went to Sebek's dad to ask for advice on how to raise Silver.

Back then, Baul asked Lilia to train Sebek since he's part human (and therefore "weak" in Baul's eyes). However, Baul still values his grandson and wants him to have a good education 🥺 (Sebek's older brother also graduated from NRC??)

Lilia tore up his invitation to NRC???? But it was his friend Raverne who came to him with the invitation pieced back together and kept it safe for the future in case Lilia reconsidered. It seems like Raverne really is a diplomat; he stresses the importance of humans coming to understand fae + vice versa, and how it's things like learning a common language that can help bridge these gaps.

Lilia confirms that Raverne must have "become a star" by now BUT UNTIL I SEE A CORPSE I'M NOT BELIEVING IT

Sebek's trying to get through to Silver, who's slowly being swallowed by the darkness... HE UNVEILS HIS UM, "Living Bolt"!! "Thrust through the clouds, o' lightning!" It seems to summon a powerful strike of lightning, but I'm not entirely sure what it does because the visuals of the game are a little confusing??? (Like it shows a white silhouette of Sebek moving around, so it makes me think he can... control the lightning??? Or he... becomes lightning itself to move around??? DON'T QUOTE ME ON THAT.) Sebek says he hasn't mastered it yet so maybe even he doesn't know what it can do.

With Sebek's UM, he's able to snap Silver out of it!

THE GIRLIES ARE FIGHTING... There's literally a battle between Silver and Sebek, which resolves with Sebek smacking some sense into Silver. Sebek calls him an idiot and tells him to stop saying he isn't loved, because it's rude of Silver to be this weak when Lilia raised him to be strong (ie "IT'S AN INSULT TO LILIA-SAMA", "IF HE SAW YOU BEING THIS PATHETIC HE'D BE SAD", etc). Way to go with your words of encouragement... 100/10 motivational speaker, Sebek.

Silver realizes that he has had Lilia's love and support all this time... "It's true love", Silver says. The true love that his guardian fairies said would wake him from his sleep... 😭I really appreciate how it was Silver who first snapped Sebek out of his dream-induced despair, and now Sebek is doing the same for Silver.

WAIT THAT'S IT?????? THAT'S THE UPDATE???? ?? ??? ? ????????? 🤡 TWST really said, "I'm coming for everyone's throat and I'm taking no prisoners" AND THEN DIPPED ON US AFTER DROPPING SO MANY BOMBSHELLS... This is just the fate of every book 7 main story update now, isn't it???!??????!?

asidoavyfqevofb I know a ton of really exciting and shocking reveals happened this time around, but while my mind is still racing to process everything... the one thing that sticks out to me is "Ace is the only one without a UM now". IT'S SO FUNNY HOW HE THOUGHT HE'D GET HIS UM BEFORE DEUCE BUT HE ACTUALLY ENDS UP BEING THE LAST OF THE ENTIRE MAIN CAST TO GET IT................. .. . . . .. ....... .. .. . .. ... . . . .. THERE IS SOME CRUEL, SICK IRONY HERE.

I pretty much said all my other thoughts as they cropped up along with the corresponding story beats!! But overall, I loved learning more about the characters and their shared history. Part 5 confirmed many theories, such as the Dawn Knight being related to Silver (and not his ancestor, but rather his actual dad), Silver being put under a sleeping curse that requires true love to break, how Lilia came to raise Silver, etc. It also recontexualizes lore we already knew, such as how Silver got his name, the Zigvolt family's involvement with Lilia, and how Lilia changed from his old self to his current self.

khbhasdsbkuavuofafabf I ALSO CAN'T BELIEVE LILIA X MALLEMOM IS A THING, THAT WAS ONE OF THE MOST SHOCKING REVEALS THIS ENTIRE UPDATE😭 All this time we were joking about Lilia x Mrs. Spade... turns out, Lilia was into someone else's mom... HE'S JUST INTO MOMS, I'M CALLING IT NOW/j

I'm surprised that we didn't get to catch up with the Shroud brothers whatsoever this time??? Not a single peep about Ortho (who has 'woken up and is actively working to help everyone) or even Idia (who is still stuck dreaming)... I really hope the next update addresses how Ignihyde is faring, cuz I miss them and want to know how they contribute to saving the day!!

As book 7 progresses, it progressively calls the image of a spinning wheel into my mind... This is the case especially for the flashback segments we see, which shows us how the various members of Diasomnia are related to each other, and, by extension, their other family members. Lilia is raising Silver, the baby of an old foe. Malleus is visiting Lilia, who is implied to have helped hatch him after his parents died and/or went missing. Lilia asks Sebek's dad for help raising Silver. Baul asks Lilia to help mentor his grandson, Sebek. It really harkens back to the "individually, we're threads on a spinning wheel, but we come together to make something far stronger" line that Lilia dropped at the end of book 6, proving that the spinning wheel and the threads of Fate within it are an important motif for book 7 🥺

I'm fine.

This is fine.

It's not fine

[littlemsshoney]

Hannibal obsessed with one of his patients

Hannibal Lecter × patient!reader

Warnings: unhealthy dynamics, obssesive relationship, slight stalking, Hannibal being emotionally manipulative, mental health issues (he caused)

At first you were just another patient, a potential pawn or a future extravagant dinner he would enjoy some Friday night. Another lost and troubled soul that was unfortunate enough to find him.

There was something about you that caught his eye. The way you talked, the way you carried yourself.

However his interest grew like a forest fire, a burning insatiable hunger consumed him more and more with each one of your sessions.

He started taking notes of every little detail of your life and with some research of his own he soon knew every aspect of your life. Where you live, where you work, who your friends are, which cafe you spend your Saturday morning everything in.

He knew that he should feel bad for crossing such a line between a therapist and a patient but he didn’t really. After all, it wasn't that hard. With your social media your life was practically an open book for everyone to read and enjoy and if he didn’t then he was sure someone else did.

Only the thought made him angry. It wasn’t about your safety but more about his hurt ego. He had his eye on you, no one else should change that and he should make it known.

Of course he had always been a fan of traditional courting so don’t be confused when you start bumping into him in the most random places at some point with the excuse of cheering you up even being invited to one of his glamorous dinner parties. All of those situations you tried to avoid and refuse gracefully, not because of being aware of his true intentions but rather because you knew there was a thin line you shouldn’t cross.

So you didn't leave him any other way. He truly wanted to be gentle and kind with you and treat you like the precious, vulnerable creature you were in his mind but you just won’t have it the easy way, will you?

The thought of being patient- one of the tarits he awlways took pride on- now felt like a real torture. He wanted to consume you whole. There was something about you that reflected some part of him, an unknown familiarity of your pain. He wanted to break you down, then pick up your parts and build you up. Then do it all over again.

Your sessions were heavy at least. Raw honesty from your part and emotional manipulation from his all to serve the creation of an intense bond, a codependent relationship.

Your wellbeing and mental health had turned into a chess game and the game was anything but fair. In less than two months your whole well being was hanging from a thread and only he could help you or tear you apart.

One can only imagine the sadistic pleasure he took from your vulnerability and pain. Comfortably he sat at his armchair watching as you fell apart in front of him each week feeling worse and worse. All he had to do was just watch and enjoy, proud of his creation.

In his free time he recalled how beautifully you cried, so broken and desperate for him to fix you but all he wanted was lick your tears and take you in. He imagined you being under him, crying - from pleasure - his name rolling off your tongue over and over again.

Soon he had you feeling as if the whole world had turned against you. You couldn’t even trust your own judgement, you had cut ties with most of your friends -Dr Lecter advised you that none of them were genuine-you had become more and more isolated, you felt like you’re turning paranoid.

And then the final act of his play

“I’m really sorry I didn’t know where else to go” and like clockwork you deliberately walked onto his trap, basically sealing your own fate. All he had to do now is hold his door wide open for you to come in.

And then checkmate. That eventful evening standing on the doorstep of the only person you thought truly cared about you. He let you in and like a wounded bird he took you into his arms with such generosity and kindness in contrast to everyone else in your life. The irony.

“It will all be alright”

You wrap your arms around him, holding onto him for dear life, holding onto the only person that seems to understand you and actually wants to help you. As you cry on his shoulder he rests his chin on your head and gently caresses your hair.

Despite your persistence to resist him you are finally giving in. He kisses the crown of your head and though you know it is wrong you let him. You would let him do anything to keep him and he knows it.

Frozen in place you close your eyes as he kisses your forehead, then your eyes and cheek. You know what comes next yet you do not pull away, you don't resist what’s inevitable. A second passes and he doesn’t move, you open your eyes to see him staring at your lips. Now you know you want it, you feel his hunger as your own and you’re starving for it.

Grabbing him by his expensive tie you kiss him, not gently as he did but with desperation and need to be seen and understood.

Pleased he lets you have control just this once for the rest of your time together. He knew you would soon come to realise it’s only him you ever needed.

[isagrimorie]

Sometimes there really are interesting things on Reddit, found this one particular passage on r/DaystromInstitute talking about Starfleet and the Cardassian war, in particular, Miles O'Brien and Kathryn Janeway's experiences in a ground war:

Ground combat was much different. O'Brian's reactions to the Cardassians in 'The Wounded' are clear that ground combat wasn't as clean for the Federation as it was in space. Same with Captain Maxwell. Even Captain Janeway was in ground combat in the Federation/Cardassian war (I think it was the episode 'Prey' where Janeway told Seven of a time during the war when she was only Lt. Janeway). O'Brian carrying anger against the Cardassians for making him into a killer. Maxwell so used to destroying Cardassian ships that a year after the treaty is signed he's still in the habit of blowing up Cardassian ships. Janeway, it's entirely possible that until the war ended she spent her entire Starfleet career in combat, earning battlefield promotions, flying up the chain of command to Commander and with the impossible situation that Voyager was in after her promotion to Captain and first command being Voyager, she found herself trying to balance Starfleet ideologies with her own history of being willing to use violence, or in her case, too willing in a few episodes.

This is an interesting thought, I remember being surprised knowing Janeway actually was in actual ground combat. As we learned from DS9, and Strange New Worlds, ground combat is a lot different from ship-to-ship battle.

Ships can also be dangerous but Starfleet shines with ship battles. Ground combats are harder, and bloodier, and leave long-lasting marks on the soldiers who find themselves in them.

I wonder if Janeway distinguishing herself in the Cardassian war is the reason why Voyager got the assignment to go after the Maquis. But also, Janeway might have wanted to distance herself from the war more and focus on science.

But the Delta Quadrant kept pushing her into that place again.

Like, now I wish Janeway interacted with O'Brien at least, two Cardassian war vets.

ETA:

Another good r/DaystromInstitute post on Janeway:

Janeway is intentionally written as a character who intellectually believes in the ideals of the Federation, but whose actions are not always in line with her stated beliefs. I think this is very human and understandable. Very few real humans are as moral as Picard. This is why Quark's quote:

"Let me tell you something about Hew-mons, Nephew. They're a wonderful, friendly people, as long as their bellies are full and their holosuites are working. But take away their creature comforts, deprive them of food, sleep, sonic showers, put their lives in jeopardy over an extended period of time and those same friendly, intelligent, wonderful people... will become as nasty and as violent as the most bloodthirsty Klingon. You don't believe me? Look at those faces. Look in their eyes."

rings so true. Janeway is trying hard to not be the type of human Quark describes, but she is failing. She still tries, though, which I think is important.

All this just makes me love Janeway more, also Starfleet is terrible with mental health.

[ellethespaceunicorn]

The Howling in Claw Creek Forest, Chapter Two

Chapter Two: The Cabin in the Woods

Rating: Mature, 18+, Minors - DNI

Pairing: Werewolf!Walter Marshall x Reader

Word Count: 3K

Series Summary: You live in a small town called Claw Creek, surrounded by a deep, dark forest. Since you were a kid, an urban legend of the creature in the woods has been told. If the distant howls at night and mutilated livestock are anything to go by, you fear the stories to be true.

Chapter Summary: You search the woods for the house you were taken to that night. It’s been hours and you’re lost. Your phone has no service, it is getting dark, and your dumbass didn’t tell anyone you were going on an adventure.

Warnings: mutual pining

A/N: A special thank you to @peyton-warren for being my lovely beta and soundboard for this. I really hope y’all enjoy this one. It was a tough one to write, Walter was so feisty!

Dividers by me

Support/Reblog banner by me

Cover Art by me

Series Masterlist

My Masterlist

When you arrived at the hospital, you had another nurse and colleague check out your head injury on your next shift. Armed with a clean bill of health and a brain bursting with unanswered questions, you try to go about your day. 

The entirety of your workday was spent having coworkers break you out of a trance. Every few minutes, you’d gaze off into nothingness until those around you noticed and snapped their fingers in front of your face. You kept thinking about the wolf and Walter, trying to piece the two together. 

After work, you change your clothes and put on your hiking boots. Even though the drive from the cabin to Liv’s house was short, that was in a vehicle. On foot, you will need to cover a lot of ground. You decided against driving your car down the road that splits the forest. 

If you parked at the entrance to the forest near the park grounds, you could easily sneak back to your car and bypass the curfew checkpoint at the tree line. Not that you planned on being out until nightfall. 

Parking your car in the gravel-filled lot, you tighten your scarf around your neck and start your journey into the woods. Walking takes you about ten minutes to get to the clearing where you and Olivia enjoyed wine coolers. It didn’t seem like it took you this long to get to the clearing a couple of days ago, but you don’t stay long enough to dwell on it.

Retracing your steps, you walk for another few minutes in search of the tree with the giant roots jutting out from the forest floor. After ten minutes of wandering, you think about giving up because daylight is in short supply. Looking down at your phone, you curse when you see the battery percentage looking back at you. Eleven percent wouldn’t get you far should you need to make an urgent call or use the flashlight since you forgot to bring one.

After another few minutes of traipsing through the forest, you trip over a large root and accidentally find your tree. Following the roots, you find the little alcove that you had planned to hide in during your game with Liv. You notice the setting sun as you turn to sit on the higher roots. 

Taking out your phone, you realize that it had shut off due to low power. Shoving it back in your pocket, you stand up and wipe a hand down your face. You’re pissed off, cold, and now have no way to contact anyone should you need to. Anger boils your blood as you stand in the now-dark forest.

Pacing for a few seconds doesn’t calm you down. You start to hear all the little nocturnal animals coming alive and usually, you would find this peaceful. However, you would give anything to hear a certain howl. But it’s just crickets, frogs, and owls out tonight.

You don’t know what else to do but…

“Fuck. Fuck! Fuuuuuuuuuck!” You scream out into the void, it would seem.

Until you hear a response in the form of a huff behind you. 

When you turn around, you're only a little surprised to see the same wolf from before walking toward you. You stand still until it stops about a foot from you. You look down and study its paws, large enough to rip your throat out. But the wolf just sits down as a dog would and looks up at you before yawning, showing off its sharp teeth and long dusty-mauve tongue. 

If this were a dog, you would have reached out a hand to pet it. But the sheer size of it was enough to keep your hands to yourself. You didn't have to think about that for long before the wolf was back on all fours walking around you and nudging at your leg as it started to walk away. It doesn't make it far before it turns around to look at you.

"Oh, am I supposed to follow you or something?" You feel silly asking the wolf a question, but only less so when it huffs in response, "Okay. Following a wolf wasn't on the itinerary. But it isn't attacking me so whatever," You finish, mostly to yourself.

Following the wolf, you notice you are going in a completely different direction through the forest. Of course, the last time you were here was an inebriated adventure but you could've sworn you would go right instead of left. Either way, you're putting your faith in a four-legged carnivore so you stop thinking about what should or shouldn't be happening.

A light in the distance can be seen through the trees and once you reach it, you find yourself in front of a medium-sized cabin. There is a light at the little fence encircling the property. The black Ford F-150 that Walter drove is parked to the side in the driveway. You have to admit you didn't expect to see this place look so...normal. It almost looks quaint.

You shuffle on your feet and are suddenly too nervous to propel you forward. Whining at your side reminds you that you aren't alone. You absentmindedly reach your hand out to stroke the wolf's fur. Thick, coarse fur slides through your fingers. Glowing, yellow eyes look into yours and your fear starts to dissipate. The wolf licks at your hand and then takes off around the back of the cabin.

You think about shouting after it or running after it, but instead, you walk up to the fencing. You could swear you hear a door being closed in the back of the cabin, but you can't be sure and you don't want to snoop. Opening the latch to the gate, you walk through the front yard dragging your feet. Your fight or flight response makes an appearance when you hear movement in the house. 

'It's now or never,' you think, raising your hand to knock on the door. 

Three sharp knocks and you shove your hands in your pockets, waiting for the door to be opened. You jump at the sound of something crashing to the ground and soon the light above the door is turned on. You hold up a hand over your eyes as the harsh fluorescent beams down on you in the dark of night. The door is opened and you take your hand down to see Walter standing there. You’re once again under the spell of him.

He stands tall at about 6’1", and his hair is a disheveled mess but it only adds to the sex appeal. His brows are scrunched together and it doesn’t look like he needs you at his doorstep right now by the scowl across his pretty pink lips. He’s shirtless, sweaty, breathing hard, and smells like a wet dog. The denim shorts he wears are tattered at the ends and his defined calves are on display. His bare feet are a bit dirty as if he’s been running barefoot.

Your eyes shoot back up to his, a faint glow makes his blue eyes look almost golden. He blinks a few times and the glow is gone, aquamarine replaces gold. 

You run through a mental checklist. Wet dog smell, check. Frayed shorts that were probably thrown on in a hurry, check. Golden eyes, check. You feel so stupid thinking about the last item. Walter’s hair color is the same as the wolf that brought you here. 

“Are you going to come in or are you going to just stare at me like I’m a–”

“Werewolf?” You blurt out, cutting off Walter’s sentence.

“Just come in, and I can explain everything,” He opens the door and steps aside to let you in, but you don’t move, “I won’t hurt you, I promise. Please come in?” 

His sincere tone and pleading eyes get the better of you. You sigh, chewing the inside of your cheek. Walking in, you step just inside the living room, giving Walter enough space to close the door behind you. You notice a side table knocked over, a lamp, and small knickknacks on the floor next to it. You turn back to look at him and his face is that of a kicked puppy.

Of course, it is.

“Look, I didn’t–”

“As much as I want to have this conversation right now, I can’t get over how much you smell. I’m gonna need you to take care of that ASAP. Go get clean and I’ll tidy up. And where is the kitchen? I need coffee if I’m gonna have this conversation sober.” You say, taking off your coat and laying on the back of the couch.

Walter walks you to the kitchen and watches as you busy yourself with the coffee maker. You tell him politely to get out of his kitchen and go shower. He opens his mouth to talk but closes it when he sees your eyebrows raise and your hand go to your hip. He simply nods and walks away. You hear him walk up the stairs and soon the faint sound of a shower being turned on before a door is closed.

You fill the coffee maker with grounds and water, setting it then make your way to the living room. Picking up the end table, you turn it right side up and set it on its legs. You bend down to pick up the figurines from the floor. You’re not surprised when they turn out to be two wolves, the larger one made of light wood and the smaller wolf a dark mahogany.

You hear the coffee maker sputtering and go in to check on it. Pulling out two mugs from their spot in the corner cabinet, you fill one and leave one for Walter, not sure if he even wants coffee so late at night. Did werewolves even drink coffee?

So, that’s it. You’re just entertaining the idea that werewolves not only exist but that you’re in a cabin with one. In the back of your mind, your grandfather’s tale of the Claw Creek creature demands attention. You were going over it when you heard footsteps coming down the stairs.

You bring your mug to your mouth to take a sip when Walter appears in the doorway, just as beautiful as when you saw him for the first time. His wet hair curls around his ears. He’s wearing a tighter-than-necessary heather gray henley, the front of it holding onto his pecs for dear life while the sleeves are pulled up to show off muscular forearms. A pair of jeans hug his meaty legs and boots cover his feet.

“You stare a lot.” His words break you out of your ogling and you finally pull down the mug from your lips.

“Don’t flatter yourself, Wolfie,” you comment, suddenly hyperaware that you may have just said something rude.

Walter’s chuckle surprises you, and you’re put at ease, “Wolfie?” He challenges, walking toward you.

You shrug your shoulders and stand your ground, looking up at him as he stops in front of you. He nods to the coffee maker and you step back to let him make a cup for himself. He takes a sip and hums at the flavor. He turns to ask you about it and you answer before he can open his mouth.

“Cinnamon. Just a few shakes and it takes away the sharp bitterness. Now, if you’re done talking about coffee, can we talk about how you can turn into a wolf?” Your frustration peeks through and Walter nods, leading you back into the living room.

Once you get to the couch, you set down your coffee on the table in front of you and turn to face Walter. He takes the cue and starts to speak.

“So, what do you want to know? Do you want me to go through my entire lifetime? It’s quite long, so far. Or start where I was attacked and bitten by someone I thought was a friend? Should I dispel werewolf myths about uncontrollable shifting during the full moon?” He rambles on, probably trying to confuse you or overwhelm you. 

Luckily, you’re already overwhelmed so his attempt is in vain.

“I have a couple of questions. The first one is: Do you eat people? The second one is: Could you follow my scent to find me?” you offer, pulling your leg up to sit on it while leaning against the back of the couch.

“I don’t eat people. I don’t think Werewolves as a whole, ever eat people. Attack? Sure. But no, I don’t crave human flesh,” he pauses, looking down at his hands, “How’d you know about the scent thing?” He’s suddenly super interested in his fingernails.

“I didn’t know about the scent thing. You just confirmed a hunch, is all,” You reach for your mug, bringing it closer to your lips before taking a sip, “One more question and I’ll release you from the hot seat. Are you safe out here? Like, I mean, with the animal mutilations in the town, they were talking about sending hunters out to look for whatever was doing it.”

“That wasn’t me, just so you know. I’m safe out here. I actually live in town, I just come here to shift and get some time away. No one comes out this way. This used to be an abandoned shack, but I fixed it up over the past years. Got electricity going and made it...wait. You care if I’m safe out here?” he presses, a toothy grin showing off his sharp canines.

“You saved my life, I can’t care about your wellbeing? I’m being nice, don’t push it, Wolfie,” you snap, a little harsher than you meant to. You did feel lied to, but he was being honest with you. You shake your head before insisting, “I’m sorry, I just...this is a lot. And I need you to know that I was really pissed off with you in the beginning, but I know why you didn’t tell me. Safety and all that. Maybe you can drive me back to my car so I can start the drive back home?” You were cut off by an intense yawn that came out of nowhere.

“Speaking of safety, you look like you’re ready to fall over. You’ve had all of about two sips of coffee and that yawn almost unhinged your jaw a bit there. Just, I won’t be able to sleep if I know you’re tired behind the wheel,” he admits, turning concerned eyes on you.

“You know, as a wolf, using puppy dog eyes on me should be considered unfair. And how do I know this is not some elaborate excuse to get me into your bed so you can have your way with me, huh?” you huff, squinting at him as his eyes glimmer in the low light of the room.

“Do you want me to have my way with you?” he leans back, head over his shoulder, and crosses his arms over his broad chest.

Your hand flies out to slap his bicep. You figure that was easier than giving him the answer that was on the tip of your tongue.

He rolls his eyes and gets up from the couch, pointing to your coffee cup in your hand and motioning for you to give it to him. He takes both of your unfinished cups to the kitchen and when he comes back, he heads for the stairs. “You coming, pup?”

“Pup? Is that because I called you Wolfie?” You stand up from the couch, tilting your head at him before walking to follow him up the steps.

“I don’t know, give me time and I’ll think of something better.” He winks at you and smiles when you duck your head.

Once Walter shows you to his bedroom, you don’t hide your urge to look over everything in the room while he leans against the open door. You almost get upset when you see that his bedspread isn’t a large picture of a wolf’s face. Somehow you thought it would just fit in with his vibe. But the midnight blue damask comforter that covers the bed is actually way more fitting.

“Wait, where are you gonna sleep if I sleep in here?” You question as you sit on the bed and take off your boots.

“I figured I would sleep on the couch. I don’t need much sleep anyway. Unless that was an invitation…?” he smirks and is surprised when you look to be thinking it over.

“Can you stay in here ‘til I fall asleep? I don’t want to be alone.” you confess, looking everywhere but who you were talking to. You can’t believe the words coming out of your mouth, but you also know you won’t sleep in a bed that’s not yours all by your lonesome.

“Are you alright? I mean, of course, you’re not. What am I saying?” he rambles, coming into the room fully and hunching his shoulders so he can seem less intimidating.

Walter walks over to the bed, pulls back the bedspread, and motions for you to crawl under the covers. Once you are comfortable, he turns on a low light on his dresser and turns off the overhead light of the room. Coming back to the bed, he sits at the edge and toes off his boots before you pull him to lie down next to you.

Turning to face him as he lays on his back, you stare at his face as he looks up at the ceiling. You’re interlacing your fingers so that you don’t reach out and trace his jawline when a thought pops into your head.

“When’s the last time you had a woman in your bed?” You breathe, mentally kicking yourself for not thinking longer before you voice your thoughts.

“It’s been a while. Years. I don’t really...mingle much.” He murmurs, eyes never moving from one particular spot.

You refuse to acknowledge the “lone wolf” analogy, instead, you steady yourself before putting a hand on his. “Thank you for saving me, Walter. Goodnight.” Taking your hand back, you close your eyes and let tiredness take its course.

“You’re welcome.” His soft voice is barely above a whisper, but it’s the last thing you hear before you’re fully asleep.

To be continued…

A/N:  Wow, you mean to tell me I got these two folks in bed together and they’re both dressed still? What?! Don’t hate me!

**Tag List** 

@deandoesthingstome @cakesandtom @brattymum96 @ambinxe @avengersfan25 @kebabgirl67 @thabiddie23 @sweetandgentlecreature @foxyjwls007 @art2emily @titty-teetee @astheskycries @enchantedbytomandhenry @rebelangel1102 @milknhonies @peyton-warren @geralts-yenn @raccoon-eyed-rebel @cardierreh15 @viking-raider @imaslutforcuddles @ilovetaquitosmmmm @warriormirkwood @calwitch @meanlilbean @samahenoyrhye @openup-yourmind @juliaorpll78 @princessaxoo @toooldforobsessions @carrie80reads @liveoncoffeeandflowersss 

Let me know if you wanna be added (or removed) 😁 

[graychrissy]

🌊Digital Detox + Egyptians lucid dreaming method 🌊

Idk what to put on the title of this post so I wrote digital detox and I have copy pasted the main lines.

In the ancient Egypt the Egyptians use to have lucid dreaming alot and it was extremely easy for for them not just Egyptians but it was also mention ancient Indian scriptures.

You’re probably wondering ‘what’s the secret’? The real problem is often NOT your technique. It’s actually another issue that no amount of techniques, articles, reality checks, supplements or uncomfortable masks is going to fix. It’s your ‘inner game’. Specifically, your subconscious motivation and reward circuits, and ‘dopamine cycle’. Travel in your mind for a second, to ancient Egypt.

There were no smart phones, internet connections, computer animated action movies or virtual reality headsets.

Your brain back then would have produced a healthy amount of dopamine as a reward for pretty basic things like eating, working, exploring, and taking some time to relax or meditate

Now our average attention spans are literally less than 7 SECONDS. It’s probably a lot lower than that, and It’s declining every single year with the rise of new, highly addictive and stimulating social media apps and platforms. When was the last time you meditated for over 90 minutes? Have you ever? I’m not saying you have to do that to lucid dream, but this sort of practice was very common 5000 years ago. In fact, it was weird NOT to do that. And herein lies the main problem.

Your brain is ‘fried’ with an overly stimulated dopamine pathway. Dopamine is the neurotransmitter that stimulates the feeling of WANTING to keep doing something. It’s the reason you keep scrolling through Instagram, or keep refreshing your Facebook feed to see if there are any new comments or notifications. But it’s also the SUBCONSCIOUS reason you aren’t able to lucid dream easily. In the last decade especially, there have been billions of dollars spent by big tech to essentially ‘addict you’ to their platforms. Why? Money. The more time and energy you spend on platforms like that, the more money they make. So the task has been given to artificial intelligence. The AIs often just get trained and told a few basic things: 1: Get people to spend more time on the platform 2: Get people to keep coming BACK to the platform as often as possible The ‘AI’ pays almost NO attention to what that would do to your mental health, attention span, motivation, emotions, or really anything else. Much LESS attention is paid to the effect it has on your ability to focus, or do things like, say, lucid dream. Now, the ‘dopamine cycle’ is one part of the problem, but it’s actually pretty easy to fix. There are several little pieces to what I call the ‘modern brain puzzle’. Things that just weren’t a problem 5000 years ago. You can see some of this playing out in children today. On average, children or people under the age of 15, find it MUCH easier to lucid dream than adults do. It’s because at that age, their dopamine system has not been damaged too much. This is of course changing now, as more and more children are having access to smartphones, but it’s an interesting point. In fact not only does the dopamine problem affect your ability to lucid dream, it also affects your ability to WANT to lucid dream (consciously and subconsciously). Specifically I’m talking about your motivation and focus. And you guessed it, there’s your number one cause of problems when trying to meditate, practice techniques like the WILD, or recall your dreams.

After reading this paragraph or stanza whatever,I noticed something,as a kid I had lucid dreams alot with just putting intentions.

My first lucid dream was at around 7-8 years old,and I was sinking when I realised I was dream and I tried controlling my dream and even succeeded,and I was probably there for about 10 minutes playing with underwater creatures and mermaids.

And till 7 grade I use to have alot of lucid dreams but after that I was allowed to use phone and so I was always invested in phone like all the time. By the way lucid dream was pretty normal for me and I pretty much forgot about it and never really paid attention to lucid dreaming. And then I rarely had any lucid dreams, probably 4 times ever since 8 grade and I've noticed every time I lucid dream it's always whenever I don't use any social media.

In 9 grade my phone was taken again because my mother noticed my social media addiction. And after few months I again start to lucid dream for fun easily and effortlessly but during COVID I was again allowed to have my phone and then a new laptop so now my life was revolving around social media again and for the past few year I only lucid dream whenever I don't get to use my phone more then 2 days.

Idk bout y'all but I wasn't allowed to use phones or laptop till 8th grade so the only thing I knew was TV which I only watched after coming home so like my mind was most of the te bored because I didn't had anything to keep it entertain which made it easy for me to observe around looking for things to do.

So how can you reverse the ‘dopamine problem’ and several of the other issues modern life has created? By the way: This is NOT about destroying your phone and going back to live in a cave. There are actually several powerful habits you can install, that will let you KEEP using your phone, laptop etc, but without these harmful effects. Here’s the simple solution to more lucid dreams: 1. Reverse engineer your life and remove distractions, manipulation, ‘dopamine hijacking’ and harmful blue light exposure from your daily routine (along with some other ‘problem patterns’) 2. Get inside your subconscious brain and rewire yourself to WANT to practice lucid dreaming, and to effortlessly do reality checks at the right time, without even trying 3. Learn powerful ‘all day awareness’ and ‘lucid living’ techniques that give your brain superpowers in the fight 4. On top of THAT foundation, learn the most effective techniques and concepts, use our tools to stay motivated, and experience lucid mastery within 14 days. Let’s dive a little bit deeper: First, you have to ‘reverse engineer’ the problem. This can be complicated if you don’t know what you’re doing, but we’ve laid everything out step by step for you. If dopamine addiction is part of the problem, we have to break that addiction first. Then comes your mindset, and your motivation pathways. You need to actually feel GOOD when you practice these things. I see so many people saying they’re struggling to remember to do reality checks, or they just don’t want to wake up at ‘weird times’ to practice. Don’t worry, you won’t have to. It will feel good, and you’ll ENJOY practicing these things. Next, your subconscious mind. It’s SO important to fix your internal beliefs about lucid dreaming, because the chances are you have ‘internal blocks’ about becoming lucid. They’re easy to pick up, but a bit harder to ‘unlearn’. The system shows you how to ‘unlearn’ them, and install new, powerful and self affirming beliefs into your mind. This gives your brain lots more motivation to keep trying. Now, one of the most common things I hear people say is that they can’t REMEMBER to keep doing reality checks. It’s linked to the dopamine problem we mentioned earlier, but it’s also connected to a few other psychological principles that we’ll get onto. We’ll give you a new framework to ENJOY reality checks, remember them without any annoying reminders, and actually get them to SHOW UP in your dreams, 9 out of 10 times. And then finally, we’ll build the most effective techniques, methods and concepts on top of that new, strong foundation. Of course, I’m simplifying this here, but that’s the outline.

Here are some videos that may help.

If you want to know more about it or get the steps to lucid dream you can buy the book or go through a long step to get it for free but the procedure is very long and probably only for Iphone user.

You find some good articles ways to do the 'reverse dopamine' thingy.(I donot trust my research on this topic cuz I got confuse)

You may use Adambja's tape to reprogram your subconscious and this hacking the matrix tape the comments under the video was so good and I found this tape on someone's success story. You can use this two tapes to reprogram your subconscious and of course psych-k.

This is pretty much all you need digital detox,observing your surroundings and subconscious reprogramming to change your belief or assumptions.

And this will make you even more motivated that you are working on your goals as many of us have the access of devices it's hard for us to keep up with all this method and it's not like we are always busy if we are we wouldn't be scrolling through Tumblr and Pinterest all the time. If you read the the copy pasted part you'll see what I mean.

Edit: I forgot to mention it 🥲 if we follow do this we CAN HAVE lucid dream everyday.

Egyptians lucid dreaming tea

This will be quick,so I went to my aunt's place with my mother and my aunt's ran out of tea powder/leaves so she used her daughter's blue lotus tea and after getting home I took a nap and I HAD A FOKING LUCID DREAM,so basically I didn't knew that it was the tea until I was doing some research on LD and found out that in ancient Egypt they use Blue Lotus tea and I found some review about it on YouTube and people had very vivid dreams aswell. This tea basically put you in REM which y'all probably know about.

But I don't like tea😐,so if anyone have interest you can try I honestly want to but my hate for tea is on top on the list of top 5 things I hate,you can find them online people even use Blue Lotus in vape😐not encourageling y'all to smoke but if anyone does you can.

[yandere-daydreams]

Title: Sequestration.

Written for a very lovely anonymous commissioner.

Pairing: Yandere!Robotic Bodyguard!OC x Reader.

Word Count: 2.6k.

TW: Heavy Themes of Isolation/Reliance, Needles, Intimidation, Manipulation Through Health, Reader Wears A Dress And Is Called Princess But Like In A Non-Binary Way, and Codependence.

On your best days, you could remind yourself that life outside the castle probably wouldn’t be any more interesting than life inside of it.

How could it be? You’d never actually been outside, sure, but you’d spent hours staring out of your dust-covered windows, sorting through your mother’s research, walking across the scarred landscape in your holographic enrichment chamber until you came to the end of what the simulation was able to generate or Prince decided that you’d spent enough time thinking about things you shouldn’t, that day. You’d talked to other survivors (real survivors, you mean – you still don’t know if you could really call the way you live ‘surviving’) on your mother’s communication devices and the more primitive radio transceivers you put together yourself, and you knew that it was more routine than anything, that scavenging for food and gathering clean water and praying that, by some miracle, you’d stumble onto one of the few remaining pockets of civilization before that pocket devolves into in-fighting and anarchy was about as much fun as sitting inside and daydreaming about doing the same. You knew how to keep yourself busy; the castle was endless, its rooms countless and the labyrinth of tunnels that ran underneath it endless, and even if you did spend the rest of your life mapping out its every twist and bend, it would’ve taken another to finish the restoration work your mother started. You had enough dried and canned food to last you the next century, and you always kept the indoor garden going strong. You had hobbies, and routines, and when you were absolutely desperate for company, you had Prince. That, you guessed, would never change. No matter what you did, he would be there to guide you through it. No matter where you when, you’d always have Prince on your heels.

On your best days, you could tell yourself that life outside of the castle would be as boring as life inside of it.

On your worst, it was impossible to make yourself believe that anything could be as boring as the life you were living now.

It was a quiet, knotted despair – the kind that lent itself to long days spent consumed by low-burning anxiety and dampened terror and everything else that comes along with knowing you’d likely never take so much as a step outside of the building you’d been born in. You tried to keep it hidden the best you could, to avoid Prince and, by association, one of his well-intended but less than helpful ‘check-ups’, but the inevitable could only be delayed for so long. He found you in one of the castle’s tallest spires, sitting in a bay window spilling over with patterned quilts and velvet-lined pillows. He was already scowling when he appeared by your side, his lips quirked downward and his gaze ever so slightly narrowed. You’d expected as much. He’d always said the spire's damp air would worsen your condition, but according to Prince, nearly everything would worsen your condition. If he had his way, you’d be locked in your library all day and your bedroom all night, and he’d always know exactly where to find you.

He was wearing his holographic form, as he always was – his pink hair pulled back into a perfect low ponytail, his features softened yet well-defined, every part of him manicured and refined in the way a creature who’d been quite literally designed for companionship could be. You’d only seen his true form, his physical form, once; that shambling mess of gears and iron banding, but you could still remember the way it creaked as it moved towards you, the strange dissonance of hearing Prince’s voice and seeing that malformed, mechanical nightmare. You couldn’t be scared of him, not really, not when you knew it was still Prince underneath all that metal and all those jagged edges, but you listened when he warned you away from certain parts of the castle, now.

You didn’t turn to face him immediately, keeping your eyes on the distant landscape until he cleared his throat and took a step toward you. You watched, out of the corner of your eye, as Prince reached out, moving to touch your shoulder before pulling back and letting his hand fall to his side. He couldn’t touch you, not in this form, but he’d try, occasionally. It was an expression of the more human side of his programming, the half that was made to keep you happy, not just safe. You could only imagine what string of numbers could make a being so rational carry so much sentimentality. “I believe it’s past time for your treatment, Your Highness.”

You pulled your knees up to your chest, burying your face in the thick fabric of your skirts. “Again? Didn’t I just take my medicine yesterday?”

“Yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that. It’s a daily essential. You’d know that if you ever bothered to listen to me.” His frown was gone in a moment, replaced with a small smile and a pleased look in his eyes. “Do you need me to escort you to the clinic?”

“I think I can find it on my own.” You waited for a long beat. When Prince failed to move, failed to respond, you added, “But, if you want to accompany me…”

“It’d be my honor, Highness.”

He waited patiently as you slowly removed yourself from the windowsill, sparing one last look towards the lifeless horizon as you smoothed over your skirts and placed yourself at his side. You couldn’t take his arm, but you didn’t need to. He knew how to keep pace with you, by now, matching your stride as you quietly navigated through the castle’s tangle of empty hallways and overly cluttered rooms. Everything, from the ancient furniture to the box-like sensors posted in the corner of every room to your own sparse decorative touches, was coated in a layer of dust you’d never been able to stave-off. You tried to clean whenever you could, and Prince did his part, but there was just too much to take care of. Your world was, simultaneously, impossibly small and incomprehensibly large, and it was similarly difficult to imagine that you’d ever be able to fill the space or shake off that ever-growing sense of claustrophobia.

Eventually, you came to a pair of towering glass doors – the entryway to the otherwise unused sunroom that you’d taken to using as a makeshift clinic. You looked to your side, nodding to Prince, and in an instant, he’d dissolved into thin air. You counted out a minute and, more importantly, waited to hear the sound of metal scraping against tile - the sound of Prince’s footsteps - before slipping inside. As always, the clinic greeted you with shining marble walls and a glittering glass cieling, but only dread accompanied the lovely sight. Your treatment, for as much as it delighted Prince, wasn’t something you could bring yourself to look forward to.

Prince was already waiting for you, a familiar wooden case in-hand, looking just a little more vivid than he had a second before. You knew why – that his holographic body was now anchored to his physical form, that he had to wear a skin you wouldn’t be able to see through – but you still made an effort not to look at him. It was too realistic, too uncanny. You didn’t know what you’d do if you ever met another living person. If Prince was too much for you, you couldn’t imagine how you’d react to someone who was made up of more than projected light.

You took your place on the cot in the center of the room, folding your legs underneath you and cringing at the way the stiff sheets crinkled. In a moment, Prince was at your side, already sanitizing the needle of a long, bronze syringe. You just held out your arm, pointedly glaring in the opposite direction, and Prince acknowledged your discontent with a low hum, a slight pinch, a sudden numbness slowly ebbing from the crook of your arm. You closed your eyes, but that only gave you less to distract yourself with, only left you more focused on the discomfort lodged just underneath your skin, the stark chill quickly seeping away what little warmth you had. Still, you kept your eyes shut as he worked, determined to at least pretend that it helped. “Prince.”

It was a reflex, by now – just another routine. Shut your eyes, and when that didn’t work, call out for Prince. He was as used to it as you were. “Yes, Highness?”

The pain was minimal, but you winced as he drew the needle back. “Do you think we could go for a walk tomorrow?”

“You go for a walk every day.” The bandages were next – white, plush, and virtually useless. You’d take them off in less than an hour, but Prince enjoyed the ritual of it, and it wasn’t as if you didn’t have time to spare. “As far as I was aware, you don’t have any other way to get around.”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.” You threw him a hollow glare. “A walk outside. Just around the courtyard.”

“Why would you want to go out there?” You didn’t have to see him to know he was grimacing. You could hear the disgust in his tone, picture his automatic revulsion. “It’s filthy, and dangerous. The dust would shred your lungs.”

“I’d wear protective gear. We have ventilators, and I could make a—”

“The strain alone could break you. That’s not to mention the heatstroke, or the bugs. You wouldn’t last a second.” There was a soft laugh, a swatch of cotton against your skin. His fingertips brushed against your skin, as cold as ice and as lifeless as metal. “Don’t make me watch you suffer like that, princess. You know I like taking care of you, but that’d just be torture.”

You pressed your tongue against the roof of your mouth. “There are people who’ve been out there for as long as I’ve been alive. I think I could survive a day.”

It wasn’t a chuckle, this time, but a laugh – whole-hearted and chirping. Perfectly engineered to be as mirthful and as patronizing as possible. “You can’t be serious. An hour, I could start to understand, but a day?” He shook his head, a stray length of pink hair falling over one of his eyes. “Please, don’t put my poor heart through that.”

“You don’t have a heart.”

“I have enough of one to know that this isn’t a good idea.” He smiled, and when you didn’t return the gesture, he sighed, lowering himself to one knee. The bandage was secured, and before you could pull away, he took your hand in his. His grip wasn’t tight, but it was secure, remorseless and iron-clad. He must not have realized how confining it felt. Otherwise, you knew he never would’ve held you that way. “I know it sounds harmless now,” he started, in that faux-sympathetic tone. The same one he’d used when you scraped a knee, or came crying to him about another malfunction in one of your half-baked inventions. “But you have to trust me. You’re safe here, with me. I can’t promise that I’ll be able to help you out there.”

You felt something acidic rise into the back of your throat. “Prince,” you said, again, if only to buy time to brace yourself. “I want to go outside.”

It was quick, but you saw it. A flicker to his holographic form, a nearly imperceptible lilac aura suddenly tinted a harsh red. You caught a glimpse of spiked shoulders, of a steel grate obscuring a nonexistent face, and then, Prince was back – still smiling, still staring up at you. It might’ve felt more genuine if you hadn’t known what was lurking behind his eyes.

“Do you know,” He spoke slowly, carefully, no part of his expression ever-changing, “what would happen if you missed one of your treatments?”

You shook your head. It wasn’t like either Prince or your mother had ever gone out of their way to explain why you were sick, lest the stress of it all take a toll on your oh-so-fragile helath. “I... I might get sick? It can’t be worse than spending the rest of my life doing this.”

He chuckled, bowing his head, his lips coming to rest a hair’s width above the back of your hand. “You’ll die. You’ll wither and fade away, just like the world outside of this castle did. Just ike your mother.” This time, when his grip tightened around your hand, you couldn’t tell yourself it wasn’t deliberate. You couldn’t tell yourself that he didn’t see how quickly your shoulders stiffened, that he didn’t notice you try and fail to pull yourself out of his hold. “Do you understand?”

“Prince, I don’t want to—”

His thumb dug into the bone of your wrist, metallic fingertips burrowing into vulnerable flesh. You winced, and Prince’s grin widened. “Do you understand, princess?”

“Yes, I do, I— Please, let me go.” You were gasping, tears forming in the corners of your eyes as you fought to urge to pry yourself away from him. “I’m sorry, I understand – I’ll never ask again.”

He spared one more playful, bone-crushing squeeze before releasing you, letting you draw your hand back into your chest. He stood, taking up the syringe and its case before retreating back towards the clinic’s cabinets. You didn’t dare to move until he’d returned to your side, until you felt his hand on your shoulder. “I knew you wouldn’t be so cruel to me.” The words were muttered, barely audible. If there’d been anything else to hear, anything else in this castle save for you and Prince, you might’ve missed it. You wish you could’ve missed it. “Will you be tending to your garden this afternoon?”

You nodded, as if in a trance. Prince hummed in approval. “Would you care for an escort?”

“I…” You crossed your arms over your chest. Your wrist throbbed, but you didn’t know what to do about it. You weren’t used to this type of pain. “I think I’ll manage on my own.”

You cast your gaze downward, to the cot’s over-starched sheets. You waited until those dull, thudding footsteps were too distant to hear, until you could bring yourself to sigh, to shrink, to glance toward the reddened bruises forming along your wrist. You might’ve done more, if you’d known what to do. You might’ve cried if you hadn’t still been able to feel Prince’s eyes on you, unblinking and ever-present.

So, instead, you picked yourself up, let your hands fall to your sides, and – like you would tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that – started towards your garden.

[mybookof-you]

2024.11.06

I awoke earlier than usual this morning after a restless night of sleep.  Coffee was brewing as I heard the news piping into the kitchen that America, my country, was destined for an eminent Trump presidency.  I reacted at first with disbelief, but as further information was delivered the reality became clear.  My heart is broken.  I sat with my warm mug alongside my husband taking in this reality.  I have been crying for about an hour or two.  So much inexpressible grief and concern for those who will be most ill-effected.  So much worry for the direction of the future of our planet and our global human connection. 

The news I watched pointed to the fact that Trump represented a change in economies that spoke to middle America.  I cannot blame people for wanting to preserve their pockets, homes, and families or values they feel are eroding.  I do not believe Trump’s answers will fully realize those hopes for positive change, but it looks like we are going to find out.  I believe he is the wrong answer to those concerns.

I fear that Trump’s presidency will deliver authoritarian rule in a way we will not be able to overcome for generations.  Again, it looks like we are going to find out just what a second Trump presidency will bring.  Most of all, I fear that people who will be devastated by the coming administration will not be heard, and their muffled cries will go silently into the darkness, forgotten like so many who have historically been marginalized, dealt with, and eliminated. 

I fear for Ukraine, Israel, Palestine, and Taiwan.  I fear for under-represented groups like the LGBTQ community, communities of color, and the poor who suffer beneath a structure which keeps them from rising above their situation.  The elderly.  The expendable. 

I fear for our planet, and the future of all creatures which depend upon it.  The answer may come from the science that has already explained the climate change we are experiencing.  That devastation will predictably continue exponentially if we do not act responsibly.  The future may be on Mars.  The future may be aided by genetically modified plants and new methods of growing food.  I believe science will help us in our uncertain future.  

Though, I would rather not go there.  The state of health of planet Earth is the only area I wish to move backward and promote a more sustainable lifestyle, economy, and direction based on interdependence of people from across small, local communities to the global community.  We all matter, and more than us, the Earth itself is a precious gift we, the top of the food chain, were trusted to steward and preserve.  Our very lives depend on the stability of the ecosystem we selfishly trash in order to serve our immediate needs.  We can attempt to synthesize what we need to survive the destruction we bear responsibility for, but if the Earth’s design and system of functioning has worked why fix it?  Why not listen to what She is saying and change to follow Her lead.  She will outlive all of us, whether we are lucky enough to be here or not.  She does not need us.  We need Her.

We need one another.  I do not want to move backward toward dehumanizing those who are not like us.  The human self-centered thing to do in crisis is to square-off and draw lines between ourselves and those who do not share our perspectives, our cultures, and our skin color.  It is easy to fall into that false sense of security, when, in truth, our future is safer and more sound when we consider the whole of creation, all people, all creatures, and all elements of our world.   

Purging and sanitizing the world of anything we do not accept as our personal own is not a solution.  It is self-deprecating.  It is a plan to eliminate and silence perceived enemies and create new ones.  It is an unending path toward bloodshed.  It is genocide.  It is an endless cycle of victimization from which no one is guaranteed protection. 

I would advocate the preservation of all life.  Communication.  Understanding.  Respectful disagreement.  Compromise.  Solutions reached to promote all peoples and all of life.  There are most certainly no easy solutions.  My hope is that viable solutions which value all of us are attained.  That is what I will attempt to work toward within the tiny space I occupy and continue to find hope.  Tomorrow is another day, and I claim it for me and for you, for all of us and for everything.

[middleearthpixie]

The Ties That Bind ~ Chapter Nine

A/N: I know it’s been a while since my last update, but I’ve been dealing with some nagging, somewhat serious health issues that will (hopefully) be resolved real soon, and on top of that, I started a new job at the end of September, so I am one tired pixie most nights. It might take me a bit longer than usual, but know this story WILL continue to be updated. So, as always, thanks so much for your patience… :)

Summary: Although Erebor is his once more, Thorin knows there is still a great threat to the peace of Middle Earth. Azog is gone, but another has taken his place and has sworn to finish what Azog began. Erebor is back, but it’s sadly lacking in protection and as much as he hates the thought of it, Thorin knows there is one thing that will guarantee the safety and continuation of his line.

War is coming and all Eirlys of Mirkwood wishes to do is fight alongside her brother Legolas and the other elves, united with Men and Dwarves in their attempt to quell the renewed tensions between them and the orc army of the north. But, her father, Thranduíl has other plans. Unite his kingdom with the newly reestablished kingdom of Erebor and use the power of both to defeat the orcs.

An arranged marriage that neither side wants, but both sides need. But what happens when the two sides realize that maybe—just maybe—being together isn't quite as bad as they'd thought...

Pairing: Thorin x ofc Eirlys of Mirkwood

Warnings: None

Rating: T

Word Count: 2.8k

Read on AO3

Sleep mocked him. And after all of the wine he’d had? He should be sleeping the sleep of the dead. He should be so soundly asleep, it would take Dís and Dwalin to rouse him come morning.

Instead, Thorin lay there in the darkness, staring up at the ceiling—if one could call the mass of woven vines and branches above him a ceiling, that is—while everyone throughout Mirkwood most likely snored away.

Now, walk me back and then, if you wish, you can go and sneak off with your bride.

Sometimes, he wished his sister wasn't so good at reading him. No one else had that same ability, and no matter how hard he tried, Dís was rarely fooled by anything he said or did. She saw through him. And she had no shame in calling him out on it, either.

Worse still? She also was never wrong.

He wasn’t wide awake because he was nervous about the coming morning. This was his duty, of course, and what was in the best interest of his people, and he found he rather liked Eirlys as well, so it wasn't that he dreaded it, either.

No, it was because he wanted to see her.

Because he couldn't stop thinking about her.

But he didn't know why he couldn't stop thinking about her. 

No, that wasn't entirely true. He knew why. He simply did not understand why. It was but one  kiss, after all. 

One kiss that lit something of a fire inside him.

Mahal…

With a low sigh, he kicked back the light coverlet and slid from the bed. The room was quiet, except for the occasional chirp of whatever creatures came alive at night in the woodlands just beyond him. 

The wood beneath his bare feet was warm as he padded out onto the terrace, where he leaned against the railing. Though his eyes were well-adjusted to the darkness, he still could make out little through the foliage. 

Now, walk me back and then, if you wish, you can go and sneak off with your bride.

He smiled, imaging Eirlys’ reaction, should he show up on her terrace. He didn't know her well at all, but had the feeling she might hand him his head if he did any such thing. 

But what if she didn’t?

It was only unfortunate that he didn't know where her room were in relation to where he was, otherwise the temptation to go and find out might be too much to resist. 

The wood beneath his hands was cool, as was the night air that wrapped about him. There was peace in the darkness. It made him think of Erebor, especially of the ramparts on a summer night. He often went up there when he needed time away from everyone else, time to think or clear his head. 

This was the first time in Mirkwood that he hadn’t felt uncomfortable or completely out of place. The first time had him seeing the inside of a dungeon cell. The second, he’d been treated with more respect, but Thranduíl had also been more than bit aloof.

But this time? This time, Thranduíl treated him as an equal. And yet, Thorin still didn't feel as if he belonged.

Except for when he was with Eirlys. 

“Thorin?”

He jumped at Dwalin’s soft-for-Dwalin voice coming from behind him. He turned to see him in the doorway leading out to the terrace. “What are you doing here?”

“I had a hunch ye’d still be up. Nerves getting to ye?”

“Hardly.” Thorin turned toward him, sinking onto the edge of the railing, hands clasped between his knees. “What brings you here, though? I should, by all reason, be fast asleep by now. And so should you, by the by.”

“Because I know ye, is why,” came Dwalin’s blunt reply, his boots thudding dully against the floorboards as he joined Thorin on his railing. “I know ye always brood when faced with a life-changing moment.”

“Brood, eh? I suppose I am brooding a bit, to a certain degree. After all, this is a moment I knew would come and yet thought it never would at the same time.” 

“Understandable, given the last few years.” Dwalin’s brow knit. “Are ye having second thoughts?”

“Not at all,” Thorin replied with a shake of his head. “I’ve never had second thoughts about it. It must be done. What is there to have second thoughts about? If I don’t marry Eirlys, I’d be marrying another.”

“Well, Eirlys is an elf, to begin with.”

“I’ve noticed,” he replied dryly.

“And our history with the elves is a bit… rocky…”

“I am all too well aware of that as well. But what would you have me do?” Thorin shook his head. “We need the promise of aid, of the support of the Mirkwood army, should Gundabad start making noise once more. Yes, Azog is gone, but I’ve no doubt he has a successor and that’s why they’ve been venturing this far south again. I’ve a feeling the new leader will present himself sometime between now and our return to Erebor. We have no idea what we might face, only that it is a threat serious enough that Thrandy is allowing his only daughter to wed me, so that she will be safe as well. So, this marriage is one of convenience, mostly. Erebor counts the power of a military alliance with Mirkwood and Mirkwood counts on their lineage continuing as well, even if it is mixed with dwarven blood in the end.”

“Besides,” he offered Dwalin a long look, "it would hardly be fair of me to hold that against her, would it? Her being elven is not exactly something she can control.”

“No, but I know yer dealings with that prissy woodland king have been less than positive at times.”

“Again, it would hardly be fair to take that out on her as well. The past is exactly that, and that is where it should stay.” 

“So, why the sleeplessness then?”

Thorin let out a rueful chuckle. “I wish I knew.” 

“But ye know it has nothing to do with tomorrow?”

Thorin bobbed his head. “I’m certain of it.”

“Are ye and Dís arguing again?”

“Not at all. Although, speaking of arguing,” he gave Dwalin another long look, wide-eyed this time, “if I were you, I’d find some way to make up to her for whatever it is you’ve done.”

“I would, if only I knew myself what it was I’d done. I know yer sister’s peeved with me. I just don’t know why she’s peeved.”

“How is that even possible? Dís plays no games and only holds grudges for a short while.”

Dwalin shrugged. “I mean it when I say I’m absolutely lost. One minute, we were fine and the next? She’s giving me the cold shoulder.”

“So go and clear the air with her. That’s what she’s always telling me to do when I’ve a problem with someone else.”

“Clear what air, though?”

“I don’t know. Just apologize and promise you won’t ever do it again.”

“How can I do that if I dinna know what I did to begin with?”

Thorin bit back a sigh. “Whatever it was you’ve done doesn’t matter. What matters is that you just tell her you’re sorry.”

“And if I do it again?” It was Dwalin’s turn to offer up the long look. “Because without knowing what I did, I am certain to do it again. And then she will be twice as angry.”

“At least then you’ll know what it is you did.”

That earned him a glare. “For all the good it will do.”

“Dwalin, listen,” Thorin rose from the railing, “just tell her you are sorry. If nothing else, at least she’ll speak to you again.”

“Until the next time I put my foot in it.”

“No doubt.” 

A heavy, rough sigh rose from deep within Dwalin’s barrel chest. “Do ye suppose she is still awake?”

“Dís?” Thorin nodded. “I think she might be. And if not, and you’re contrite enough, she would probably not mind you’re interrupting what is most likely a restless sleep.”

Dwalin moved around him to step down from the terrace onto the narrow, somewhat rutted path. “I’ll take my chances. The reward would be worth the risk.”

Thorin rolled his eyes. “Try to remember, she is my sister.”

“Ye should go pay yer bride a visit.” A toothy grin accompanied Dwalin’s words. “If nothing else, ye’d know what to expect come tomorrow night.”

Now, Thorin grinned. “I don't mind being surprised.”

Dwalin just stared. “That so?”

“I don't think I’ll complain,” Thorin shrugged as if the anticipation of his wedding night hadn’t been swirling through him on an almost hourly basis the last two days, “so I’ll not disturb her this night.”

“True.” Dwalin’s heavy, iron-gray brows wiggled. “That way she’ll be well-rested for ye to keep up tomorrow night.”

“Exactly.”

“Sleep well, then.” Dwalin threw a wave in his direction before starting off the path into the darkness.

“You do the same.”

“Eventually.”

With that, Dwalin disappeared around the bend, and when he did, Thorin let out a slow sigh and sank against the railing.

His wedding night. He looked forward to it in a way he hadn’t looked forward to anything in a long time, and every time he caught sight of Eirlys over the last few days, he couldn't help but wonder what consummating their marriage would be like. Couldn't help but find himself trying to imagine the scene, which usually sent fiery tingles spiraling through him, to the point where he had to distract himself before his thoughts became apparent to anyone else. 

Curiosity over the woman to whom he’d bind himself crept stealthily through him, for all he knew of her was that she was strikingly pretty, with eyes that were a deep blue and hair that reminded him of mithril fairy floss. She was tall and lithe, with high cheekbones and pale, flawless skin. Not a chin hair in sight, and while he’d always thought he’d marry a dwarrowdam with a full beard, her lack of one did not take away from her stunning beauty. 

Tempting as it was to go and seek Eirlys out, Thorin thought better of it. He had no way of knowing how receptive she would be to a midnight visitor and he certainly did not wish to begin their life together with her being furious with him for overstepping so egregiously. So, with another—this time softer—sigh, he turned and went back inside. He should at least try to get back to sleep.

It seemed he’d no sooner closed his eyes when the sun rising through the tree canopy splashed into his chambers and he blinked himself up from a thick, heavy, dreamless sleep. 

His wedding day.

As he lay there, rubbing one eye, it didn't seem entirely real to him. A mere two years earlier, he was on the verge of death, run through not once, but twice, by the pale orc he’d thought he’d dispatched on an ice floe up at Ravenhill, the fortress to the north of the Lonely Mountain. Elven magic, combined with Óin’s skill, was how he survived, and without thinking, he brought his free hand down to the left side of his belly, to the still-raised scars only partially hidden by the crisp hair that had finally grown back. He winced. They were still too sensitive for his liking, offering up a near-daily reminder of a battle he knew he’d never forget, whether those scars remained sensitive or finally went numb. 

Shoving the unwanted memories from his mind, he drew back the bedcovers and rose to pad to the washstand on the far side of the room. He washed and combed out his hair, rebraiding the plaits at each of his temples, weaving into each braid the small silver and leather ornaments he usually wore in them. 

He dressed in heavy black trousers and a tunic of deep blue, embroidered with gold and silver thread in intricate designs that represented his family’s crest. His boots, polished by a member of Thranduíl’s staff, stood outside his door, gleaming and almost mirror-like in their shine, and when he’d finished dressing, he was almost immediately uncomfortable, as finery never truly suited him. None of this suited him, really. It had been too long since he’d thought of himself as a prince, never mind seeing himself as a king. Those monikers no longer seemed to fit him, for he saw himself still as Thorin Oakenshield, not as King Thorin II of Erebor.

Those days were behind him now, however. He no longer roamed Middle Earth, taking work wherever he could find it. He no longer dreamed of the days when he’d reclaim Erebor, although he did still have nightmares about what that quest had cost him—the battle with Azog, the agony of suffering from dragon sickness, the guilt over leading his company into war and nearly sacrificing all of them because of said sickness. 

He tried to push the uncomfortable thoughts from his mind as he finished readying himself and his heart gave an unexpected leap when Dwalin rapped on the door. “Are ye just about ready, Thorin?”

“I am, indeed,” he called back, stumping over to tug open the door, where he found his closest friend looking a bit more tired than usual, and he knew that Dwalin and Dís must have made up. “Do I wish to know how your evening went?”

Dwalin offered up a rare toothy grin. “Let’s leave it that I care not about how little sleep I had.”

“Enough said.” Thorin fought the urge to roll his eyes or gag. “And kindly remember, she is my sister and I need no details.”

“Agreed. So,” Dwalin gestured for Thorin to step out into the corridor, “are ye ready? Thrandy said the princess should be arriving within the half hour.”

A small flutter rippled through him and Thorin swallowed hard as breathing suddenly became a bit more difficult and his heart sped up. “I’m ready.”

“Good. Then let’s get ye to the Throne Room before Thrandy thinks ye changed yer mind.”

On the opposite end side of the palace, Madris stepped back and smiled. “You will leave your dwarf speechless, Your Highness.”

Eirlys stood staring at the full-length mirror in absolute silence, for the woman staring back at her bore no resemblance to the Eirlys she knew. Gone were the trousers and simple tunics she preferred and in their place she wore a flowing gown of elegant gold silk that looked almost liquid with the slightest of movement. The gown had an off-the-shoulder neckline, the bodice embellished with topaz and amber that sparkled in the morning sunlight, and filmy golden tulle overlaid the floor-length skirts, also dotted with topaz and amber chips and split up the middle to reveal the shimmering golden skirts beneath it.

Madris had pulled her hair up into an intricate coiffure, with a thread of gold and dotted with the same gemstones woven into the pale gold waves. A tiara of topaz, amber, tiger’s eye, emeralds, and diamonds sat carefully atop her head, the equally filmy pale golden veil anchored to it to spill down over her shoulders and along her back. 

She managed a smile as she whispered, “I wouldn’t recognize myself.”

“Nonsense. You are always this stunning, you simply choose to downplay it.”

“No.” Tulle swished softly as she shook her head. “I look like my mother and until today, I’ve never seen it so clearly.”

“You do resemble her,” Madris replied softly, “and she is with you today, even if you might not be able to see her.”

“I wish she was here. Although I wonder what she would have to say about my groom.”

“I think she would approve, Your Highness. Like your father, I think she’d feel that he will make you happy and I know she would be secure in the fact that you would be very safe in Erebor.”

“I always thought I’d love the man I married,” Eirlys mused without thinking. “And I never thought I’d marry for any other reason.”

“You may come to love him in time,” Madris told her. “You already know you are attracted to him and that’s only the beginning for most couples.”

“Madris!”

“What? You are. And you shouldn’t be embarrassed to admit it.” Madris smiled. “Now, shall we?”

Despite how her heartbeat sped up and her mouth went unusually dry, Eirlys nodded slowly, unstuck her tongue from the roof of her mouth, and managed to murmur, “Yes.” 

She took her simple bouquet of daisies, tiger lilies, and stephanotis, which was a bit heavier than it looked, and drew in a deep breath as Madris tugged open the door for her. She felt almost eerily calm, considering how her life was about to change and to her surprise, as they neared the doors to the throne room, her heart sped up and unexpected tears stung her eyes. 

Tag List: @mrsdurin @i-did-not-mean-to @fizzyxcustard @xxbyimm @kibleedibleedoo

@lathalea @legolasbadass @arrthurpendragon @exhausted-humxn-being @knittastically

@notlostgnome @myselfandfantasy @medusas-hairband @guardianofrivendell @jotink78

@ruthoakenshield @frosticenow @quiall321 @dianakc @msjava1972

@glassgulls @evenstaredits @heilith @asgardianhobbit98 @way-too-addicted-to-fandoms

@sazzlep @night-ace @lyl1pad @mistresskayla-blog1 @kmc1989 

If you'd like to be added to (or removed from) the tag list please let me know!

[literary-motif]

People Pleasing's Never Good For Your Health

Asirel Cain x Reader

Asirel forgets to feed you.

Warnings: talk of starvation

Asirel, while being the kindest human you had encountered in a while, certainly was not the nicest. He was cold, calculating and gave you the impression that — despite saying otherwise — he wanted to earn your trust and good grace only to exploit you further down the road. 

In his line of business, the selfishness he exuded certainly came in handy. At least, that was what you assumed based on the cryptic allusions he had made about it. It had not been easy to understand what your new occupation for him would entail since he was adamant about evading all your questions about himself, his life, and his work.

You accepted without hesitation regardless, jumping at the prospect of getting out of the chains digging into your skin, shackling you to the wall, and escaping the underground cell you had been placed in. There had been so little stimuli for your heightened senses during your time of captivity that with every passing day, it felt more and more like you were losing your mind, another piece of you chiseled away by the darkness and loneliness and quiet.

It was different with Asirel. 

The mansion you were staying in was large and, despite Asirel’s obvious trust issues, had various people rushing in and out throughout the day. Not that you minded the commotion they caused. On the contrary, the sound of them going about their work made you feel calm. The smell they brought with them, their occasional touch when they brushed you in the hallway, made you slowly leave the rotten cage behind, which had shackled you for so long, and start feeling alive again.

Due to Asirel being so closed off, however, he did not exactly specify what you could and couldn’t do now that you were officially his, well, pet, and you did not want to risk upsetting him so soon into your collaboration. 

What he had asked of you was not difficult to achieve, honestly. Watching over him, protecting him from some humans that might want to one-up him sometime in the future: no problem at all. You could snap all his assailants like a twig. Asirel was perfectly safe with you.

Standing in the kitchen now, the cook behind the kitchen aisle happily chatting to you about their two cats while slicing bread, the thought hit you that this was the happiest you had been in a long while. 

You had your own room, which you could leave at your own volition to roam around the house and interact with people who, surprisingly, did not treat you like a monster or some creature to be afraid of. Of course, there was the occasional employee who would duck their head and find the most absurd excuse to leave the room when you entered, but they were oddly rare. Most of the staff, especially the cook, seemed mildly intrigued by you, treating you as just another part of their uncommon lives. 

It was all rather charming, if not for a very substantial issue you did not know how to raise with Asirel: he had not let you feed in what felt like ages.

Vampires did not need to feed as often as humans did, so much was true, but at least once a week would be nice. Once every two weeks would also be acceptable if Asirel could only arrange for that much, but it had been a month since he had taken you in and ever since giving you his blood while you were still in your cell, shackled to the wall, he had not opened his veins again for you. That was a considerable time to go without fresh blood, and you had started to feel light-headed, occasionally having a spike of agony rise deep within you at being starved. Again.

You had been given next to nothing to eat during your captivity as a way to keep you weak and pliable for your capturers, but now, being tasked with protecting someone, you bitterly wondered how exactly you were supposed to do that efficiently and to the best of your abilities if Asirel did not give you enough to eat to restore your full potential. 

A part of you wondered if he was doing it on purpose, keeping you weak because he did not trust you. Maybe he was afraid of what you would do, of what you could do if you wished, both to him and all the people in his care. But that would be unreasonable. Why get you in the first place, then? What use was a weak vampire? How would they protect him, when they themself were a potential threat if they lost their senses from sheer hunger?

More probable was the thought that Asirel simply did not know better. Of course, he had seemingly dealt with vampires and other beings for a long time during his career, but that did not mean he knew their requirements regarding the quantity of food they needed. 

You had wanted to bring it up, but the unreasonable part of yourself — the mistrustful one — held onto the thought that he knew exactly what he was doing, and did not want you to feed for whatever reason. To keep you weak. To test you and find out how far he could push you until you caved.

You did not dare to ask him for blood he would not give of his own accord, which left you here, leaning against the wall of the kitchen and trying to follow along to Tay’s words as best as you could to distract you from the hunger eating you up from the inside. 

“I know you’ve probably seen a lot of places,” they said, drying the salad leaves, “and I envy you for that. I’ve always wanted to go to Europe. Just imagine the beaches of the Mediterranean. Or the fog slowly creeping around the trees of the German Schwarzwald!”

“Why have you never gone, then?” you asked, eyeing the half-finished sandwich with disdain, “I’ve got some connections, I believe. If you want, I could inquire about the best places to visit.”

Tay blushed, stuttering out a quick thank you before declining the offer. “I mean, this job pays very well. That’s not the issue. I’m just thinking about going on this trip when I get married, like on a honeymoon,” they said, breaking into a beaming grin that would outshine the sun, “but I don’t think my fianceé’s ready yet. I’ll just wait. The Schwarzwald is not going anywhere. Besides, I have the two fur balls to look over, and I— damn!”

The scent of blood hit you an instant before Tay’s hiss of pain did. You inhaled sharply, mouth-watering, and muscles seizing at the acute reminder that food was within your grasp if you only dared to reach for it. 

Mistaking your intake of breath for a gasp of worry, Tay reassured you quickly, cleaning their bleeding finger under the faucet before wrapping it in a tissue, “I’m fine really. I was distracted by the trees and my knife slipped. Nothing to worry about, I assure you.” 

They turned around, shooting you a smile meant to be comforting, oblivious to your predicament. Distantly, you thought that they must have forgotten that you were a vampire, or they trusted you so much not to be afraid to bleed near you since they assumed you had yourself under complete control. You were not sure which of those answers made your heart ache more.

The feeling of hunger was only increasing, and no matter how much you tried to distract yourself by pushing your back further against the wall, you could feel the tread of your control slowly wearing down. You would snap any moment now. “Leave,” you bit out through gritted teeth, the confused tilt of Tay’s head only furthering your irritation, “Leave the room. I’m serious.”

“But I—” they began hesitantly, looking at you with wide eyes that shone with something akin to hurt, “I have not finished my work yet.”

You could no longer contain yourself, rushing towards them with unnatural speed. The smell of blood was all you could focus on, and it was so close you could almost taste the liquid in your mouth. It did not matter that it was Tay bleeding; the person who had opened up to you immediately and tried their hardest to make you feel comfortable in your new environment. It did not matter because the prospect of feeding after being denied for so long was just so intoxicating that it numbed your mind, letting your primal instincts take over. 

“And pet,” Asirel had said after giving you a short tour of the house and introducing you to those under his care who worked in it regularly, “if you hurt any one of my employees, I’ll stick you back in a cage you will never get out of. Do I make myself clear?”

You braced yourself against the kitchen aisle at the last instant, gripping it with strength so crushing you wondered why it did not splinter under your hands. Tay had taken a hurried step back, their back hitting the counter and their hands raised as if trying to fend you off. 

“Leave!” you growled again, closing your eyes to focus on your breathing and drown out the sound of the erratic heartbeat — pumping fresh, delicious blood in abundance — on the other side of the room.

“What is going on here?” Asirel’s sharp voice cut through the haze in your mind, the thought of blood momentarily forgotten as a sense of dread overcame you. “What did you do?” he hissed angrily, moving to stand beside you as if waiting, daring you to move and attack.

You looked up to Tay, who was still standing as far away from you as they could, frozen in shock and fear. Their wide eyes and rigid posture made your heart break. ‘A monster,’ you could see it reflected in their gaze on you, ‘I was befriending a monster.’

“I—” your voice caught on the first syllable. 

“It’s my fault, really,” Tay said quietly, a forced smile appearing on their face, “I was careless, cutting myself in the kitchen. They just—”

Asirel raised a hand, making them fall silent. “I told you to behave,” he said, his tone of voice turning his words into a threat. 

It made you bristle. Still refusing to look at him, you kept your gaze on the sandwich on the counter. The image of food reminded you of the pain cursing through you, the pain he was responsible for. The rage suddenly twisting sharply inside you forced you to take a steadying breath. “It would be easier to behave,” you snapped with as much venom as you could muster, “if you were not starving me!”

A part of you had expected Asirel to laugh at that, perhaps to mock you about how easy you were to break — at how pathetic it was that you were not brave enough to take what you needed for yourself — but he did not. The suffocating silence engulfing the room instead made your skin crawl with anticipation and uncertainty. 

Clearing his throat, Asirel began to speak. “Tay,” he said calmly, but you could hear the underlying tremor in his voice, “Leave. Take a break, it’s alright.”

For a moment, it looked like they wanted to protest or say something, but a single look from Asirel made them swallow their words. They ducked their head and exited the kitchen, leaving the two of you alone together. 

“I did not mean to snap at you,” you apologized in a whisper, but Asirel was not paying you any attention. He was busy removing his suit jacket and rolling up his left sleeve. You glanced at him, a frown on your face. “What are you doing?”

Asirel chuckled humorlessly. “What, you tell me I am starving you and expect me to just move on from that? I know you haven’t known me long, but I would have thought that you at least had some vague idea about the person I am. Now come on” — he held his arm out towards you — “drink. I know you want to, pet. You need to.”

He was right. But the overwhelming need to feed was exactly why you were hesitant to do so. You did not know how far you would go once you tasted blood, and you did not want to risk draining Asirel. “I—” you stuttered, as he kept looking at you expectantly, “I’m afraid I won’t stop.”

“I trust you,” he said without hesitation, “Come on now, I can see you’re fighting to restrain yourself. Give in, it’s alright.” Asirel stepped closer to you, making you fight the urge to take a step back. His heartbeat was even louder now, drowning out everything else. “I give you permission.”

Your resolve broke. Slowly at first, you began feeding, but the sweet taste of his blood in your mouth made you crave more and more. It had been so long that you could not help yourself now, finally allowed to satiate your hunger. 

The soft grunts and hisses from Asirel barely registered as you continued, oblivious to everything but the satisfaction of finding relief. “Right,” he said hoarsely, “That’s enough for now.” You did not stop, too caught up in the bliss to notice his words. “Pet?” Asirel brought his free hand up to tread through your hair, pulling slightly to get you to release his arm. 

With a herculean effort, you let go of him. “Pardon,” you mumbled, licking your lips to savor every last drop of his blood. Admittedly, you felt a lot better. The pain tearing at you had subsided, and you could feel renewed energy flowing through you. 

When you looked back at Asirel, you found him leaning heavily against the counter, trying to catch his breath. He looked pale. A thin layer of sweat had appeared on his forehead and his hands shook as he tried to loosen his tie. “I just need a moment,” he said weakly, and you could see him swaying where he stood. “Just a moment, and then you can keep—”

You pulled up a chair from the kitchen table, grabbing his arm to keep him from falling as you helped him sit down. “Did I take too much?” you asked, narrowing your eyes as you undid his tie and opened the first button of his dress shirt. With quick steps, you walked around the kitchen aisle and grabbed the sandwich Tay prepared, bringing it to Asirel. 

“No, not at all,” he answered quickly, eyeing the food. “I have just had something to eat. I’m fine.” 

You kneeled, catching his gaze. “Asirel, I need you to be honest with me on this, please,” you said firmly, and the  seriousness and gravity of your voice made him pause, “Did I take too much?” The burning intensity of your eyes entranced and confused him in equal measures, making him forget that you had not called him by his preferred title.

He considered your question for a moment, holding eye contact. “No,” he said with confidence, “You did not. It was fine, pet. Don’t worry.”

His response made you breathe a quiet sigh of relief. “Good,” you whispered to yourself. Asirel’s fingers running slowly through your hair brought you back to the present, raising your eyes to look at his somber expression. “Eat, please. You need the energy after the blood I took from you.”

“Why didn’t you say something?” he asked instead, continuing to play with your hair. You looked away, unable to meet his piercing gaze, but he stopped you, tilting your chin up with the fingers of his free hand. “Don’t look away from me, pet. Why did you not tell me you were suffering?” 

“It was not a priority,” you said quietly, “and you seemed to be versed enough with vampires that I assumed you knew what you were doing, so what use was there in reminding you?”

For a moment, Asirel’s gaze softened. His expression turned from his usual mask of being entirely in control of a situation into one of anguish and guilt. He opened his mouth to say something but thought better of it. He exhaled slowly, and the hard look in his eyes returned a moment later. “From now on, tell me,” he said, taking a bite of the sandwich, “I can help.”